The Quirky World of Noah Hawley

Okay, folks, let’s talk about Noah Hawley, the guy who seems to be the weirdest fanboy in the entertainment biz. Seriously, this guy dives headfirst into beloved franchises like he’s jumping into a ball pit at a kiddie party. He’s tackled X-Men with Legion, spun the Coen Brothers’ filmography into a crazy yarn with Fargo, and even got cozy with xenomorphs in Alien: Earth. Let’s be honest here: when it comes to fan service, he’s the kid who actually brings the cookies to the bake sale!

Star Trek: Not Just About War

Now, it’s pretty shocking to hear that his now-canceled Star Trek movie actually nailed the essence of Star Trek. While chatting with the fun guys at the Smartless podcast (which has Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, and Will Arnett – total comedy dream team by the way!), Hawley spilled his thoughts on the franchise. He said, “Every franchise is all about war these days, like Star Wars and Marvel. But Star Trek? It’s all about exploration!” Boom! Mind blown!

Trekking vs. Running

Let’s be real: with all the new Star Trek content flooding our screens over the last 16 years, we haven’t seen much of the “Trekking” part, have we? Instead, it’s been a mad dash from one corridor to another. Thanks to the J.J. Abrams films, we’ve been treated to more running than a gym class, endless tears on Discovery, and a shocking amount of tidbits on Spock’s dating life in Strange New Worlds. But spoiler alert: not much focusing on actually seeking out new life forms!

Change is Here, But at What Cost?

The Star Trek franchise has gotta change with the times, right? I mean, we don’t want a repeat of The Original Series where every planet looks like a budget version of Earth with godlike beings popping up everywhere. Sure, there’s nothing wrong with character development or clever nods to legendary episodes, but the current vibe? Total remix mode! It’s almost like they forgot the cardinal rule of boldly going!

Hawley Goes Bold

Hawley, bless his soul, is all about going boldly where no writer has gone before. He brought the xenomorph to his knees with a delightful mix of quirks in Alien: Earth, and let’s not forget the surreal dance moves in Legion. So, it’s only fitting that his take on Star Trek would also be a refreshing twist. Rumor has it, his movie featured a brand-spankin’-new crew on a quest to solve the mystery of a viral apocalypse—yikes! But hold your horses, it had no Captain Kirk in sight!

Regime Changes and Hollywood Drama

Here’s the tea: Paramount was all aboard the Hawley train until a new head honcho strolled in, waved a magic wand, and poof! The original Star Trek movie was vaporized! The new guy was like, “How do we know the audience will love it? Let’s play it safe by sticking with Chris Pine!” And just like that, Hawley’s vision went poof into thin air.

What’s Next, You Ask?

What did we get instead? Oh, you know, just another Kelvin film that was supposed to bring back Pine’s Captain Kirk for a family reunion with his old man (played by the ever-hunky Chris Hemsworth). But talks fell flat, so now we’ve got a new project in the works from the talented duo of Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves, Jonathan Goldstein and John Francis Daley. Fingers crossed they don’t just throw a bunch of glitter on the script!

A Fond Farewell

As we sit here in our captain’s chair mourning the loss of Hawley’s Star Trek adventure, we hold out hope that Goldstein and Daley will remember that, at its core, Star Trek is all about astronauts trekking through the cosmos, not just the garden-variety Hollywood blow-up scenes. Here’s to hoping they capture the essence of that weird, wonderful space exploration, but let’s be real—no one could possibly be as bold and quirky as Hawley!