Spoiler Alert!

Alright folks, buckle up! If you haven’t seen Something Very Bad Is Going to Happen, you might want to back it up and hit play before diving into this treasure trove of spoilers. Trust me, this one is not for the faint of heart!

The Premise

Netflix once again shows us that they love to mess with our heads. In the horror show Something Very Bad Is Going to Happen, we follow the couple of the year—Rachel Harkin and Nicky Cunningham—who are headed off to a family cabin for their wedding. But plot twist! Rachel’s family has a curse that might just ruin their whole happily-ever-after. Yikes! She must marry her soulmate…or else! Now, the big question: Is Nicky truly her soulmate, or are they both headed for doom?

The Family Curse

Our story really picks up in episode four, where we get a peek into some old home movie magic. We witness Rachel’s parents tie the knot, and guess what? They were totally NOT soulmates! Surprise, surprise! Her mom had a real glow-up after the wedding where she apparently dies in a *not-so-cool* way. Just before her exit, she leaves Rachel’s dad with a lovely parting gift: a huge warning about the family curse! Who needs sleep after an episode like that?

What’s the Deal with the Witness?

Rachel decides to play detective, heading back to a bar to chat with The Witness (who sounds way cooler than he actually is). This dude conveniently looks as though he’s never aged a day in his life and drops some heavy knowledge about the curse stemming from a family bargain with death. Think of it as some weird form of immortality—but with a gag reflex of doom attached.

Is Rachel Really Doomed?

Fast forward to the wedding day, and oh boy, Rachel’s got cold feet! Nicky is stepping on the gas toward regret, and their wedding starts to look like a scene from a horror flick. Just when we thought Rachel was going to marry our boy Nicky, she throws caution to the wind and skips the whole love potion part to seal the deal! That’s right, folks—this wedding is presented to you by the letter “F” for “Fiasco.” When Nicky has a panic attack of doubt, things start to hit the fan.

The Shocking Twist and the Immortal Mess

In classic horror fashion, just when we think Rachel is toast—blood, snow, and all—she shocks everyone by poppin’ back up like a scene out of a zombie movie! By the end, she kind of inherits some twisted form of immortality because apparently, when the groom chickens out, he spreads the curse, and the unlucky bride gets new “immortal” powers. Miller’s Crossing level type of drama, am I right?

The Fallout

Jumping to the reception, it’s a bloody mess! Nicky’s family is dropping like flies as the curse slams onto them harder than ever. We lose his mom (goodbye, narcissistic drama queen) and sister (surprise Vegas wedding memories). Nicky’s left standing tall but alone, echoing the sad fate of The Witness. Guess what? The witnesses might’ve left the building, but those ghosts sure take A LOT to get over.

The Curious Case of Jules and Nellie

Now, about Jules and Nellie—our favorite dysfunctional couple. Despite accusations, tearful moments, and awkward bathtub chats, they somehow dodge the curse bullet. It turns out, soulmates can be totally inappropriate, even in their chaotic, doomed scenarios!

What’s Up with that Song?

As Rachel drives off with the chaos behind her, she tries to skip a pretty ominous tune that plays on repeat. It’s called We Will Not Be Lovers by The Waterboys, and man, do we feel that vibe! If that’s not a signal that Nicky’s doomed attempts at a perfect relationship were built on sand, I don’t know what is!

So What’s the Bottom Line?

In the end, Rachel’s left to wander the world, bearing witness to weddings and the failures of others. No word on how to cash in on that eternal existence, but here’s hoping she finds a way to inject a little light humor into her new, cursed immortality. Because honestly, who wouldn’t want to have some fun while everyone else walks down the aisle towards doom? And there you have it! A love story tangled in horror, immortality, and a whole bunch of broken hearts. Who’s ready for round two?