What’s the Saw Deal?

Back in 2004, a beam of twisted genius known as Saw sauntered into theaters, ushered in by James Wan, who was fresh off the director’s chair. Dismissed by many as just another gory addition to the torture porn buffet, the film set itself apart from the monotonous slashes of capitalizing horrors like Hostel and Wolf Creek. But who knew it would sprout into a ten-installment rollercoaster of absolute madness? As they cranked the gore dial to 11, our beloved franchise became a box office darling that had us all wondering what was next—who knew Jigsaw could surprise us again in 2023’s Saw X? So grab a bucket for the jump scares and let’s roll through the greatest hits, or misses, if you’re feeling cheeky.

10. Saw V

Let’s start off the list with Saw V, which picks up right after the thrilling splash of Saw IV. Our guy Peter Strahm (Scott Patterson) dodges watery doom thanks to some clever tracheotomy action. But spoiler alert—he’s not as successful in his quest to take down Jigsaw’s wannabe, the sinister Mark Hoffman (Costas Mandylor). Bye, Peter, you weren’t even that cool.

This flick hits the bottom rung for an array of reasons. Sure, the group trap is an interesting idea (seriously, teamwork makes the dream work, people!), but the movie feels like it’s stuck in second gear with all the backstory fuss. It’s like they crammed every family reunion story into a three-hour movie. The flashbacks come like a waterfall, creating a pile of mental homework that even the most dedicated Saw fan wishes they could skip. Did I mention the finale twist? Utterly bonkers and not in a good way. Who would have guessed that revealing the last tape wouldn’t be a good move? Hoffman felt like a third wheel here, and the whole thing just smacks of franchise fatigue.

9. Saw IV

Next is Saw IV—bless your heart for trying! It sets out to shake up the usual saw setup and, I have to admit, gives it a good go. This time, we’re wading through crime drama territory—talk about a genre-bender! As we unravel the threads of John Kramer (my dude Tobin Bell), we find out he left a delightful breadcrumb trail of doom for our poor detective Hoffmann while the past and present dance in a confusing waltz.

Don’t worry, the audience will have their dose of whiplash too if they’re just here for some casual viewing! Plus, the big twist of Hoffman being Jigsaw’s partner is cooler than a winter chill but admittedly at a cost. The mental gymnastics required just to keep track? Exhausting! But hey, points for ambition, right?

8. Spiral: From the Book of Saw

Fast forward to 2021, where the brainiacs at Lionsgate decided we needed a quirky spin-off—Spiral! Picture Chris Rock adding some flair as Detective Ezekiel Banks, laying down the groundwork for a classic cop tale revolving around a Jigsaw copycat. Big twist? It might be a missed mark!

Out goes the typical gruesome Saw charisma; in comes a snazzy, polished thriller vibe that leaves hardcore fans scratching their heads. Like, it’s neither a true Saw experience nor a gripping whodunit—kinda sad, huh? The box office reflected this confusion, making Spiral the box office equivalent of a soggy sandwich.

7. Jigsaw

On the list, we have Jigsaw, which tried to breathe new life into our favorite horror brand. Think of it as the franchise having a mid-life crisis. Once we stumble onto Logan (Matt Passmore), you might think this will grow into something mesmerizing, but alas, it feels like a retread with a sprinkle of nostalgia. So… many… links back to the original story!

Honestly, I’d liken this one to a convoluted tale akin to a Rick Moranis film: “This killer is your father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate.” Get it? Yeah, me neither.

6. Saw VI

But then, just when you thought all hope was lost, along comes Saw VI—a delightful palate cleanser! Time to put the plot back on track without drowning us in a sea of confusion. We follow William Easton (Peter Outerbridge), a health insurance guy who made some pretty shady calls. Kramer’s on his tail, and boy, does he want payback.

This time around, we’re not twisting in the wind with a tangled story. Oh no, we actually get good moral dilemmas that align with Kramer’s twisted sense of justice (thanks for the course correction, guys!). Say hello to a shotgun carousel of mad horror and leave your sanity at the door!

5. Saw II

Getting warmer, we have Saw II, which boasts more blood-soaked traps than ever and sets a deliciously bloody template for the franchise! It’s opened with a bang as John Kramer immediately finds himself in a headlock with detective Eric Matthews. Surprise! Kramer puts together a whole horror show, and the twist about the nerve agent has us clapping our cheeks in shock—spoiler, everyone might already be dead, except Matt’s son!

And it’s got a needle pit. Need I say more?

4. Saw: The Final Chapter

Here comes Saw: The Final Chapter aka Saw 3D, which took full advantage of the madness and brought things full circle in a way that’s—shall we say—ballsy? It features one Dr. Lawrence Gordon pulling a fast one by surviving the original movie’s labyrinth of terror and monitoring the kingpin Kramer’s ex-wife. Talk about patient zero!

With a slew of gruesome deaths and jaw-dropping stunts, the seventh film smoothly sails through what fans wanted—even if it means sacrificing some sanity along the way. Who cares about a 9% RT score? It served up the gore we’d been waiting for!

3. Saw III

Now rolling into the third slot is Saw III, a true ride on the turnpike of despair. With an intensely dark script penned by our beloved Saw writer Leigh Whannell, we bear witness to the torment of Jeff (Angus Macfadyen). Not only is he tasked with forgiving those behind his son’s tragic fate, but let’s be real—he’s heading straight for heartbreak!

This episode features unforgettable visuals—like a man trying to escape a grotty vat of pig remains. Just top-rated quality of nightmares right here!

2. Saw X

Getting near the finish line, let’s talk about Saw X. Seriously, who was packing good vibes in this tenth film? Taking us back two decades, we glimpse a vintage Kramer—traveling south to Mexico all in the name of some dodgy medical procedure. Little did he know, it was more than just a facepalm moment!

We dig into the chrysalis of Kramer’s motivation, and believe it or not, he even manages to tug on some heartstrings before the carnage unfolds. With skillful direction from Kevin Greutert, it’s a cohesive masterpiece—at least until the next what-the-heck moment arrives!

1. The Original Saw

Last but not least, we arrive where it all began—the original Saw. Hands down, this flick is the most straightforward and ingenious piece of cinema I’ve ever gobbled up. Nestled in a single room, it pits two confined souls against each other in a twisted game of trust. And the final twist is nothing short of legendary!

Stepping out on a dime-store budget, it amassed oodles of dollars at the box office. Who knew that DIY horror could be a money-maker? Despite the early critics calling it a hot mess, this franchise defied the odds and grew into our eternal horror lover! So raise a glass to Saw—a horror sensation that refuses to die—literally and figuratively!