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Blonde and Blonder
A frontrunner for the 2007 Razzie Awards
Blonde and Blonder
"Pamela Anderson and Denise Richards on the Set of Blonde and Blonder."
DOMESTIC TOTAL: $10,000,000
OTHER PREVIEWS: Alatriste (7/10)
  This Film is NOT a Future Release.
  The Following Preview has been Archived.

March 1st, 2007: Ditzy dames and best friends Dee Twiddle (Pamela Anderson) and Dawn St. Dom (Denise Richards) find themselves in the wrong place at the wrong time and witness a mob hit. Due to a series of amusing coincidences, two mafia men confuse them for a couple of world-best female assassins. After taking the information back to their boss, the mobsters decide that the duo might be perfect for their next hit and offer the girls an absurd amount of money to complete the job. Their task will be to take out the head of the rival Chinese mafia, Mr. Wong (Byron Mann). With the money involved, the two blondes happily accept, but soon find themselves in way over their heads as they go on a wild road adventure, simultaneously having to dodge federal agents and real mobster hit men.

What to Expect: Clearly, when discussing the movie, the place to start is with the two main actresses, Pamela Anderson and Denise Richards, both of whom are trying to extend their lifetime in the limelight for a few more years with the flick. Let’s start with Anderson, who is looking for a second box-office hit in a row if you consider her contribution to Borat. This is actually the type of material that she thrives with – a light comedy that plays upon the entire dumb, sexy blonde image that she has been living with over the past decade and a half. As long as she doesn’t have to stretch beyond this persona, she can actually be quite effective. When I think of Blonde and Blonder, I imagine her and Jenny McCarthy essentially recreating their scene from Scary Movie 3 and stretching it over a light 90-minute running time.

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This brings me to Denise Richards, who I don’t exactly find to be a perfect match for Anderson in this sort of project. First of all, I’ve never thought of her as a blonde, at least not in the same sense that I think of stars like Anderson or maybe a Jessica Simpson or a Jenny McCarthy as blondes. Second of all, she’s actually not as good of an actress as Anderson and I believe she will have difficulty matching the former “Baywatch” star’s level of “ditzyness” with her wooden acting. Finally, the project would be more interesting with a personality that has had a whirlwind career comparable to Anderson’s. I just don’t believe that Richards matches Anderson’s stature in terms of “blondeness.”

The set has reportedly been flooded with the paparazzi trying to get some shots of the two ladies, but surprisingly not that many set photos have surfaced. There was one major incident, however, that caused some headlines. An altercation with an obnoxious paparazzo led Richards to grab his laptop and throw it over the balcony of a Hotel where filming was taking place. Unfortunately for her, it landed on an 80-year-old lady in a wheelchair and ended up bruising her a tad. No charges were filed, but the story did make front-page news in a Canadian newspaper. I just thought I would mention it since it is probably the most exciting thing that has happened on the production.

Anderson is actually producing the film with her brother Gerry, who also penned the script for the flick. His biggest credit to date has been as producer on Anderson’s short-lived animated show “Stripperella” so this appears to be another opportunity for him to gain experience on a cheesy family project. Rolfe Kanefsky, who also contributed to the screenplay, has a bunch of skin flicks on his resume, so it is a safe bet that the writing is not going to be Academy Award caliber. The movie’s success will probably rely somewhat on help from Eric Parkinson, who is known primarily for his film marketing. Bob Clark, who helmed such memorable classics as Porky’s, A Christmas Story, and the original Black Christmas, was originally attached to direct and could have actually been a promising choice. Then again, his atrocious Rhinestone with Dolly Parton and Sylvester Stallone and the infuriatingly awful Baby Geniuses flicks might be a better indication of what he would have done with this material. Ultimately, Dean Hamilton took over directing duties. His most illustrious directing credit at this point is the made-for-television movie D.R.E.A.M. Team, which revolves around three sexy undercover agents who pose as international cover models in order to save the world from an anthrax terrorist attack. That was a low profile rip-off of “Charlie’s Angels” so I suppose he should be the perfect man to take on this slightly more high profile take on Dumb and Dumber.

As a producer, Pamela Anderson claims that she’s taking a page out of Borat’s book and keeping things as simple as possible. Reportedly, the flick has already secured a 1,200-theater commitment on opening weekend, which actually exceeds the number of screens Borat debuted on. The modest Canadian project was a quick shoot, with production values kept down to a bare minimum, no pun intended. Filming in Vancouver has undoubtedly helped keep the costs down, which Anderson claims to be in the vicinity of $5 million. Most importantly, however, the friendly, home-like atmosphere has eliminated a lot of stress and has allowed the crew to feel comfortable enough to crack each other up and be playful with the material.

As far as what this movie is going to be like, there really is no beating around the bush. Blonde and Blonder, in its best moments, will attempt to capture the essence of Dumb and Dumber. The majority of the humor, however, will probably not even rival the stuff that the Farrelly Brothers eventually cut out of their breakthrough flick and even at Anderson’s own admission, the girls are nowhere near as funny as that now legendary moronic duo. Then again, this sort of admission that the material in Blonde and Blonder is essentially complete buffoonery may be the film’s strong point. This may be the ultimate “just shut your brain off and watch” flick. Similarly to Anderson’s show “VIP,” in which Anderson played a stereotypical, fashion-savvy California beach babe mistaken for a world famous bodyguard, Blonde and Blonder will be a preposterous “fish out of water” story that will be able to impose just about any ludicrous and implausible situation onto the main characters simply thanks to its absurd concept. Literally, only the dumbest ideas are welcome in this flick. For example, Anderson’s character in the movie will have an animatronics pet turtle that farts a lot. Most likely, this idea somehow developed after Anderson, a renowned advocate of animal rights, ensured that the production was going to be animal-free. Ultimately, Blonde and Blonder will be one bad joke after another and will make no apologies for it. I think that it will be deceitful in one way, however. It’s obvious that the flick is likely to promise some eye-candy, but I think it will limit the sex and opt out for bad comedy instead in order to get a friendly PG-13 rating.

In Conclusion: The overall idea is so ridiculous that it cannot possibly be taken seriously. As such, anyone interested in this movie should be fully aware of what they are getting themselves into. With the brain completely shut off, there should be some enjoyment found in this harmlessly silly story, which could have benefited from a few outrageous celebrity cameos that even “VIP” could afford in each episode. Vague promises of sex may help sell this flick, but Blonde and Blonder will be to porno what Cheetos are to a complete and balanced meal.

Similar Titles: Dumb and Dumberer, Codename: The Cleaner, Undercover Brother, Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion
January 18th, 2008 (limited)
February 5th, 2008 (DVD)

Hannover House

Dean Hamilton

Pamela Anderson, Denise Richards, Emmanuelle Vaugier, Meghan Ory, Byron Mann, Kevin P. Farley, John Farley

Total: 98 vote(s).



Rated PG-13 for crude and sexual material, including suggestive dialogue.






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