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Penelope Cruz is Esquire's 2014 Sexiest Woman Alive

Posted: October 14th, 2014 by WorstPreviews.com Staff
Penelope Cruz is EsquireSubmit Comment
Esquire magazine has announced that the 2014 Sexiest Woman Alive is Penelope Cruz. In a feature story about the actress, the magazine proceeds to explain why she was chosen for the title.

"She is impossibly beautiful," says Esquire. "When she walks into a room, men start walking into furniture. Up close, however, she becomes almost hard to look at, like staring into the most unflattering mirror. Cruz has no physical flaws, the bent noses and crooked teeth we would normally use as signifiers. Her face contains no secrets, at least not about her. But her face tells you and the room plenty about you. If you want to feel like the world's most judged man, sit down at a table in a restaurant with the Sexiest Woman Alive."

And it goes on like that.

Source: Esquire


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Displaying 32 comment(s) Profanity: Turn On
Minkοwski writes:
on October 14th, 2014 at 5:44:55 AM

Thats what they think.
Minkοwski writes:
on October 14th, 2014 at 5:47:50 AM

Chick has a funny-looking face and a funnier-sounding voice. Come down here to Pacific Beach in summer and you'll see WAY hotter babes than this goofy-looking chick.

But if I had to vote, Eva Longoria would get it instead.
propermelt writes:
on October 14th, 2014 at 5:50:31 AM

Hot yes, sexiest woman, no

I'd go with Alessandra Ambrosio
Papillon writes:
on October 14th, 2014 at 6:20:51 AM

It doesn't get any better than Alexandra Daddario.

Cruz is lovely but she's not even on my top ten list.
Tanman32123 writes:
on October 14th, 2014 at 7:09:35 AM

Seen better lookin women walking around the university bars downtown on a Saturday puking at the side of the street while their girlfriends hold their hair and tell them "Everything going to be okay"
Papillon writes:
on October 14th, 2014 at 7:15:03 AM

@Tanman

And that is the kind of opportunity where you're upposed to step in by holding her other hand which should lead to an awesome f*ck session mate.
boogiel writes:
on October 14th, 2014 at 7:29:31 AM

"Hot yes, sexiest woman, no"

@proper

I couldn't agree more
Papillon writes:
on October 14th, 2014 at 7:37:58 AM

*supposed
propermelt writes:
on October 14th, 2014 at 7:41:17 AM

@Tan/Pap

Can't beat a night out in the UK chaps!

Beers, fat bird, kebab, home, sex, sick, sleep, left over kebab

Standard
Dark17 writes:
on October 14th, 2014 at 9:18:48 AM

lindsey lohan
BadChadB33 writes:
on October 14th, 2014 at 10:07:30 AM

Agreed, hot yes, sexiest no.
Deaft0ne writes:
on October 14th, 2014 at 11:03:24 AM

Who is the c*nt that wrote that absurd description of her? Penelope Cruz is ok looking but far from the hottest ever.

Stephanie Jacobsen, Paula Patton, and Freida Pinto are way hotter.
Sleuth1989 writes:
on October 14th, 2014 at 11:03:41 AM

@Papillion
Oh Alexandra Daddario is gorgeous! I completely agree. And she still can pull of playing younger woman...she's not 30 years old! LOL She played a teenager in "Percy Jackson" like 2 years ago. LOL

@Everyone
I'm sorry, but did Monica Bellucci vanish from the Earth? Like seriously if you're going to pick an older woman for this title, go with that unbelievably sultry Italian beauty!

@Everyone (On a side note)
Oh I don't comment on Downey Jr. Being on Captain America for the fabled "Civil War" storyline. Just want to say...I f*ckING CALLED IT!!! You all told me there is not way they are adapting that and I f*cking nailed! Granted I said it be for "Avengers 3" but my guess is it will lead into Avengers 3, hence the rumor all the Avengers are missing in action because they are hiding from the government. Called that sh*t! So, with all the respect in the world, f*ck ALL OF YOU!!! Dark17, f*ck off! I'm the f*cking King of WorstPreviews for the week. Unlike you though, I'm actually earning the title. Don't worry, I'll go back to normal next week but this week I'm going to be a f*cking prick. LOL I called that storyline months ago, if not a year ago, when I noted Stark and Roger's clashing of ideals in Avengers 1.
Sleuth1989 writes:
on October 14th, 2014 at 11:04:17 AM

she's now 30 years old!*
propermelt writes:
on October 14th, 2014 at 11:31:38 AM

@Sleuth

I bow down to the new king of WP!
Evil_Disco writes:
on October 14th, 2014 at 11:40:05 AM

Uuhm.. Say what?
Sleuth1989 writes:
on October 14th, 2014 at 1:21:23 PM

@propermelt
LOL Thank you loyal subject.
Papillon writes:
on October 14th, 2014 at 1:27:09 PM

@Sleuth

It's nice know you're a man of good taste.
Sleuth1989 writes:
on October 14th, 2014 at 3:48:41 PM

@Papillion
Try to be. Also a huge fan of Gemma Arterton. Now there is a classy-looking lady. I don't care if she mostly plays snobbish women, she is gorgeous.
Deaft0ne writes:
on October 14th, 2014 at 3:51:58 PM

@Sleuth

I don't recall any post of yours where you said that RDJ would be in Captain America 3 before it was announced. Although a lot of people online have been speculating that Marvel will do films based on Civil War since they are negotiating with Sony to use Spider-Man who is a huge part of that story in the comics.
Sleuth1989 writes:
on October 14th, 2014 at 5:07:26 PM

@Deaft0ne
Maybe you should try and read my WHOLE post before trying to debunk my claim Deaft.
Sleuth1989 writes:
on October 14th, 2014 at 5:10:00 PM

@Deaft0ne
Also I said the people on here. Not talking about anyone else. In fact you yourself said they wouldn't I believe. Trying to one-up people and bow!!! LOL
Sleuth1989 writes:
on October 14th, 2014 at 5:10:50 PM

Stop trying to one-up people*
Sleuth1989 writes:
on October 14th, 2014 at 5:12:05 PM

@Deaft0ne
Also the Spider-Man deal was only recently taken seriously by both parties. I called this a year ago.
Deaft0ne writes:
on October 14th, 2014 at 5:24:58 PM

@Sleuth

All I said was that TASM 2 was such a piece of sh*t movie that Sony should just give the rights back to Marvel and this was back in July.

Lol, you did not "call" anything an entire year ago on this either dude. Please find and post a link to it from October 2013. You never said any such thing!
Sleuth1989 writes:
on October 14th, 2014 at 6:05:32 PM

@Deaft0ne
Sorry do you have a photographic memory I didn't know about? How do you know what I said? I also said between a few months and a year I said it. Sorry. And of we're going to act like we know what the other is saying then yes you did say no to Civil War. It had nothing to do with Spider-Man. This was before Spider-Man's doubts of getting a big enough audience happened. I said Civil War at least right before CA2 because of the idea of paranoia of heroes and CA2 confirmed the seek and destroy of superhumans by HYDRA.
Deaft0ne writes:
on October 14th, 2014 at 6:20:05 PM

@Sleuth

Many websites were speculating about the Civil War storyline being used in the MCU:

http://screenrant.com/sebastian-stan-captain-america-winter-soldier/

I remember reading about that 2 years ago and I never said it won't happen, I just didn't care because I never read the Civil War comic.

Sleuth1989 writes:
on October 14th, 2014 at 7:24:20 PM

@Deaft0ne
Two years ago everyone was speculating about every at outline that could be covered. The only definitive concept that anyone could grasp was the Infinity gauntlet. I didn't speculate. I knew that was where they were going. I said without a doubt the Civil War storyline would be covered in Phase 3. No speculation. Just plain knew it. Hence called it.
Deaft0ne writes:
on October 14th, 2014 at 8:13:02 PM

*had not read the Civil War comic yet.

@Sleuth

I think this is the thread you're talking about from January, but you never said you *KNOW* they were going to do Civil War.

http://www.worstpreviews.com/headline.php?id=30323
PORN-FLY writes:
on October 14th, 2014 at 11:13:28 PM

TAN MAN Is Transquire's Sexiest Woman Alive
Dark17 writes:
on October 14th, 2014 at 11:22:03 PM

Bow down you peasant.
Sleuth1989 writes:
on October 14th, 2014 at 11:42:18 PM

@Deaft0ne
Nope. Later than that.

@Dark17
Shut up you trolling little sh*t. Your reign has ended! Be gone with you! Back to the sh*tfest basement of your mother's from which you spawned.

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