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Galactic Empire Responds to White House's Refusal to Build Real "Star Wars" Death Star

Posted: January 15th, 2013 by WorstPreviews.com Staff
Galactic Empire Responds to White HouseSubmit Comment
In America, if enough people sign a petition requesting something from the White House, the US government has to respond. A few weeks ago, people took advantage of that by asking the White House to begin construction of a Death Star by 2016. The White House issued a response, stating that America has no plans to build a Death Star.

The reasons given were that construction would cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000, the administration doesn't support blowing up planets, and building a Death Star is pointless since it "can be exploited by a one-man starship."

The Galactic Empire has now written a response to the White House letter. It states:

IMPERIAL CENTER, CORUSCANT - The overwhelming military superiority of the Galactic Empire has been confirmed once again by the recent announcement by the President of the United States that his nation would not attempt to build a Death Star, despite the bellicose demands of the people of his tiny, aggressive planet. "It is doubtless that such a technological terror in the hands of so primitive a world would be used to upset the peace and sanctity of the citizens of the Galactic Empire," said Governor Wilhuff Tarkin of the Outer Rim Territories. "Such destructive power can only be wielded to protect and defend by so enlightened a leader as Emperor Palpatine."

Representatives on behalf of the nation-state leader from the unimaginatively named planet refused to acknowledge the obvious cowardice of their choice, preferring instead to attribute the decision to fiscal responsibility. "The costs of construction they cited were ridiculously overestimated, though I suppose we must keep in mind that this miniscule planet does not have our massive means of production," added Admiral Conan Motti of the Imperial Starfleet.

Emissaries of the Emperor also caution any seditious elements within the Galactic Senate not to believe Earth's exaggerated claims of there being a weakness in the Death Star design. "Any attacks made upon such a station should one ever be built would be a useless gesture," added Motti.

Source: StarWars.com

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Displaying 32 comment(s) Profanity: Turn On
sm00th_eskimo writes:
on January 15th, 2013 at 7:26:56 PM

What a bunch of f*cking nerds!!! Go get laid geeks!!!!
codeman_1216 writes:
on January 15th, 2013 at 7:27:45 PM

Just hollow out the moon. Then it will be no moon, it will be a space station.
minkowski writes:
on January 15th, 2013 at 7:34:37 PM


Everyone knows they should have built Unicron instead.
Rambo writes:
on January 15th, 2013 at 7:34:42 PM

it would be cheaper to build a female robot for the nerds to abuse endlessly.
minkowski writes:
on January 15th, 2013 at 7:40:58 PM

Just build a space station in Uranus.
Herbert Butterfield writes:
on January 15th, 2013 at 7:47:24 PM

"it would be cheaper to build a female robot for the nerds to abuse endlessly."


Herbert Butterfield writes:
on January 15th, 2013 at 7:50:46 PM

hey, rambo and mink, will you two please check out my post on the "jack reacher" thread? i can't remember which one of you made the original suggestion, but it was a good one.
minkowski writes:
on January 15th, 2013 at 7:57:15 PM

@Herb: that was me, and I left you a reply.
Stapes writes:
on January 15th, 2013 at 8:22:16 PM

Really? Not even any witty irony included in that response.
BadChadB33 writes:
on January 15th, 2013 at 9:05:12 PM

Wow these guys make the Swai team, Coc, Vindy etc. Seem like total winners.
minkowski writes:
on January 15th, 2013 at 9:17:21 PM

College nerds calculate what Star Wars' hyperspace would look like:


(Am I funny yet, bitches?)

Shogo1307 writes:
on January 15th, 2013 at 9:53:56 PM

wait your telling nerds to go get laid, when your posting on a board that was designed by nerds.......who make more money then you and most likely get laid more then you do lol. your all super smart bahahah
boogiel writes:
on January 15th, 2013 at 11:00:25 PM

Why this news is in worstpreviews is beyond my understanding.
minkowski writes:
on January 15th, 2013 at 11:49:24 PM

Is it even...news?
Rocksteddy writes:
on January 16th, 2013 at 12:00:35 AM

Reminds me of High school.

'cept I was the one being slammed head first into the f*cking toilet. I sometimes wonder if it was because I was black or not.
Rocksteddy writes:
on January 16th, 2013 at 12:01:23 AM

A negro geek. How rarely do you see that kind of sh*t.
minkowski writes:
on January 16th, 2013 at 12:14:21 AM

"A negro geek. How rarely do you see that kind of sh*t."

Far, far too infrequently, unfortunately.
Electro Rock writes:
on January 16th, 2013 at 12:37:55 AM

I see them everyday. I see this one from time to time. Usually at concerts and street fairs. He looks like the black Joey Ramone and he shamelessly sings Alice Cooper songs off-key at the top of his voice. I overheard him ranting about Richard Nixon boxing Lou Reed once. No bullsh*t. The motherf*cker is deep.
minkowski writes:
on January 16th, 2013 at 12:56:32 AM

minkowski writes:
on January 16th, 2013 at 12:57:58 AM

@Rocksteddy: maybe it's a Southern thing, but down there, you don't see much "negro" anything outside the gangbangers. A black geek wouldn't last five seconds. No offense bro.
hellsingfan writes:
on January 16th, 2013 at 3:15:29 AM

Will people stop saying sh*t about nerds here as one myself I can tell you what your saying is close to offensive to all so I suggest you use those things called a Brain and think about other people for a change
pornfly writes:
on January 16th, 2013 at 3:19:03 AM

Tom Cruise will build one for us
pornfly writes:
on January 16th, 2013 at 3:44:13 AM

After this letter was composed, the author turned around to notice his girlfriend tossed all his StarWars sh*t
Electro Rock writes:
on January 16th, 2013 at 3:51:09 AM


Were all those nerds thinking about other people on other planets when they suggested building a wmd capable of destroying them? Two words for you sir.....

Donald Gibb
biniwoo writes:
on January 16th, 2013 at 5:35:55 AM

f*cking Nerds
Kurskij writes:
on January 16th, 2013 at 9:27:17 AM


Sir, is this a made up number?

"people took advantage of that"

I'd still take advantage of Jennifer Aniston. Just sain'.

Rocksteddy writes:
on January 16th, 2013 at 10:25:27 AM

@Electro, Mink - I don't mind, you can call me a fried chicken loving grape soda drinking watermelon sucking dark mongoloid and I would just laugh. I live in Arizona, the racial discrimination rates are too damn high up in this motherf*cker. I'm used to it.
Gunslinger writes:
on January 16th, 2013 at 11:18:00 AM

In Star Wars, how did the Death Star travel from Alderan to Yavin so quickly? Unless it has hyperdrive capabilities, it should have taken years...
hellsingfan writes:
on January 16th, 2013 at 12:22:14 PM

@electo rcck they made it as a joke you dumb ass
venomex writes:
on January 16th, 2013 at 12:25:51 PM

yeah well, i'm gonna build my own death star! with blackjack....and hookers. in fact, forget the death star and the blackjack! ah screw the whole thing.
holtlt writes:
on January 16th, 2013 at 7:40:49 PM

Bunch of nerds. The jerk off watching star wars.
TRUEMAN writes:
on January 17th, 2013 at 8:51:36 AM


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