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Tom Cruise Likes to Smear Bird Poo on His Face

Posted: June 30th, 2012 by WorstPreviews.com Staff
Tom Cruise Likes to Smear Bird Poo on His FaceSubmit Comment
News just broke about Katie Holmes filing for divorce from her husband Tom Cruise. At the same time, some bizarre facts are coming out about the two actors, including Cruise's secret to staying young, which is to smear bird poo all over his face.

A source close to the actor said that Cruise's regular face masks consist of nightingale excrement, rice bran and water. But Cruise is not the only one to swear by this treatment. Victoria Beckam is also on the list of celebrities who enjoy an occasional turd on their faces.

Holmes, meanwhile, likes to use extracts of placenta in her rejuvenation attempts, as do Eva Longoria, Jennifer Lopez and Madonna. Joan Rivers and Debra Messing like to use snake venom, while Angelina Jolie smeared caviar on her stomach following her pregnancies.

Source: ContactMusic


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Displaying 58 comment(s) Profanity: Turn On
pornfly writes:
on June 30th, 2012 at 7:15:42 AM

PUN


OVER LOAD
pornfly writes:
on June 30th, 2012 at 7:22:13 AM

Makes me wonder what Oil of Ole really is
trailertrash writes:
on June 30th, 2012 at 7:27:41 AM

And Travolta likes a turd on the end of his d*ck too..

Those crazy scientologists
Mr.Movie writes:
on June 30th, 2012 at 7:28:00 AM

What about Brad Bird's poo on Ghost Protocol set?
trailertrash writes:
on June 30th, 2012 at 7:35:51 AM

After a few beers i'd let Katie take a dump on me face i guess, You know for a laugh ...
bandolero999 writes:
on June 30th, 2012 at 7:39:34 AM

f*cking white people with money are pretty fukt up in the head
boogiel writes:
on June 30th, 2012 at 7:57:05 AM

He should smear katie's sh*t o his face instead.
boogiel writes:
on June 30th, 2012 at 7:57:35 AM

*on*
pornfly writes:
on June 30th, 2012 at 8:36:05 AM

So all that fudge hes packin is from birds?
cress writes:
on June 30th, 2012 at 8:43:26 AM

He also likes to smear fellow Scientologist John Travolta's semen in his ass.
boogiel writes:
on June 30th, 2012 at 8:46:11 AM

@crees

LOL! That's a good one!
Bullit writes:
on June 30th, 2012 at 8:57:27 AM

Tom Cruise has earned a new nickname: sh*tface! Or sh*t for face. Yeah, that makes sense.

Crazy motherf*ckers! I bet you Victoria Beckham gave him first the "advice" since she has the iq of a pee. Stupid arrogant bitch.

Believe it or not but there's a new trend among the French women as they firmly believe that...sperm on their face will nourish their skin to prevent the wrinkles! I couldn't resist to ask one of Frecnh colleague and she said Oui Oui! I said: come again? She was dead serious. That's the French for you.

My girlfriend couldn't stop laughing about it until I ask for a test...
pornfly writes:
on June 30th, 2012 at 9:04:44 AM

'dirty sanchez' has now been changed to 'dirty cruise'
in Urban Dictionary
pornfly writes:
on June 30th, 2012 at 9:06:15 AM

THATS why Katie said their marriage was sh*tty
pornfly writes:
on June 30th, 2012 at 9:09:08 AM

The head of his d*ck must be smooth as a dolphin
Anonymous Alcoholic writes:
on June 30th, 2012 at 10:05:47 AM

@pornfly

You are on fire, man! Did you have cocaine for breakfast? I want to have whatever you are having.
DexterMorgan writes:
on June 30th, 2012 at 10:20:25 AM

um daf*ck did i just read
minkowski writes:
on June 30th, 2012 at 11:40:44 AM

"A source close to the actor". Presumably either John Travolta, or Thomas Jane. Guess we all know who bought Jane those sandwiches, then.

"The poop contains enzymes that work as a powerful exfoliant, plus guanine, a compound that gives the face a nice pearl-like glow."

Scientifically, that's just birdsh*t. People's faces age because the supporting tissue between the skin and bone becomes less...supportive, thus, the skin sags, so all the f*cking topical exfoliation and glowing isn't going to do sh*t, but 'coming' from a Scientologist, I can't expect Cruise to appeal to logic.

"The face mask is applied under ultraviolet light and the entire procedure lasts one hour."

lol, under UVs, for an hour, twice the recommended maximum, and the very same electromagnetic rays that CAUSE skin aging!

http://trifter.com/usa-canada/when-only-half-a-face-aging/

Jesus, these celebrities are the height of stupidity...
Rambo writes:
on June 30th, 2012 at 12:12:06 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJOm2mRHDE0
jatilq writes:
on June 30th, 2012 at 1:42:56 PM

I see many wealthy people collecting birds for the next few months trying to get some sh*t!

I wonder if I should go downtown and collect them, package that sh*t up and sell it to some rich old white ladies?

With Tom Cruise picture on it?
rocketman writes:
on June 30th, 2012 at 2:00:35 PM

Wake me up when we get to Hot Carl's and Boston pancakes.
pornfly writes:
on June 30th, 2012 at 3:30:39 PM

Somebody tell Mike Tyson hes sittin on a goldmine with all his pigeons
I doubt hes figured it out
BadChadB33 writes:
on June 30th, 2012 at 3:46:18 PM

Makes me wonder what a mexican billygoat would do to him?
Freudian_Nightmare writes:
on June 30th, 2012 at 3:46:18 PM

So what? I've been doing that for years. Ehm... to keep myself young, nothing else... hrm...
BadChadB33 writes:
on June 30th, 2012 at 4:34:41 PM

Frued- lol same here.
pornfly writes:
on June 30th, 2012 at 4:42:23 PM

^surprise surprise
Džeko writes:
on June 30th, 2012 at 4:45:28 PM

sh*t son.
jatilq writes:
on June 30th, 2012 at 5:09:01 PM

Pornfly first thing popped in my mind was Mike Tyson on a roof in NYC withs Pigeons
Ranger writes:
on June 30th, 2012 at 5:50:47 PM

So when did Angelina start calling Brad's c*m 'caviar'?
Ranger writes:
on June 30th, 2012 at 5:52:34 PM

http://tinyurl.com/TomThanksTheBirds
Ranger writes:
on June 30th, 2012 at 6:00:11 PM

Joan Rivers like to use snake venom.

Well, if that isn't a match made in heaven, I don't know what is.
jatilq writes:
on June 30th, 2012 at 6:39:21 PM

Langral: Again, what happened in that hotel room?
Snow: Oh, it was coupon night and I was trampolining your wife.
[Snow is punched in the face]
Langral: You're a real comedian aren't you, Snow?
Snow: Well I guess that's why they call it the punch line.
[Snow is punched again]
Langral: You don't like me, do you?
Snow: Don't flatter yourself. I don't like anybody.
Langral: With that attitude, I can see why nobody likes you.
Snow: Oh, come on. People love me. Just ask your wife.
[Snow is punched again]
Langral: Who was the mystery man on the phone?
Snow: Uh, his name was f*ck You.
Langral: Really?
Snow: Yeah, he was Asian.
Langral: I don't like hurting you, Snow.
Snow: Is that why you're having him do it?
Langral: I can have Rupert bludgeon you all night.
Snow: I'm being beaten up by a guy called Rupert?
[Snow is punched again]

Dont know if this movies sucks, but its off to a perfect start.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1592525/
pornfly writes:
on June 30th, 2012 at 6:55:09 PM

^it reads like a deleted scene fromThe Last BoyScout
Johnnyb writes:
on June 30th, 2012 at 6:56:16 PM

Wilth all this crap coming up, I wonder where do you leave human poo?
pornfly writes:
on June 30th, 2012 at 7:11:31 PM

^im sure BADCHAD has a to do list thatll answer your question
OneTime writes:
on June 30th, 2012 at 7:21:46 PM

i got sh*t on by a massive seagull in grade 5. they say its good luck.
OneTime writes:
on June 30th, 2012 at 7:22:37 PM

victoria beckham can sh*t on my face anyday.

does that mean its been refined?

ALIsuperstar writes:
on June 30th, 2012 at 7:48:07 PM

"celebrities who enjoy an occasional turd on their faces"

You really wrote that withour watching a porn movie huh? WorstPreviews stuff?

Crazy people!
DeVries writes:
on June 30th, 2012 at 8:06:29 PM

If you don't know what to do with your sh*tloads of money, bunch of c*nts, I'll give you a call.
Ranger writes:
on June 30th, 2012 at 9:18:31 PM

The divorce is the perfect opportunity for Travolta's to smear his poop inside of Tom's bum.
Ranger writes:
on June 30th, 2012 at 9:30:58 PM

As Tom & Kate were neighbors with Posh Spice & Beckam... can't wait to hear Katie spew forth with stories of after dinner orgies (she'll say she wanted no part of... whatever Kate).
Max Rockatansky Junior writes:
on June 30th, 2012 at 9:44:28 PM

Tom Cruise Likes to Smear Bird Poo on His Face ... no sh*t.

Wait...

Well, that explains Rock of Ages.

You are what you smear on your face, Tom.
Recumbentibus writes:
on June 30th, 2012 at 10:31:15 PM

I am sure this is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to strange things Travolta likes to do. As the divorce proceedings get underway I am sure a lot of messed up stuff is going to come out about him.
Recumbentibus writes:
on June 30th, 2012 at 11:23:57 PM

Crap I meant Cruise, I always get those two confused.
bane writes:
on July 1st, 2012 at 1:44:38 AM

here is
the script for Django Unchained

http://www.mediafire.com/?pdhn3w0spnmcisp
trailertrash writes:
on July 1st, 2012 at 2:49:09 AM

^ Is that something else Tom can wipe round his face or his ass
trailertrash writes:
on July 1st, 2012 at 2:52:20 AM

Holmes, meanwhile, likes to use extracts of placenta in her rejuvenation attempts

It's excrementary my dear Holmes
pornfly writes:
on July 1st, 2012 at 2:57:24 AM

All three of his wives were 33 when they split

Xenu says,"ITS A TRAP"
trailertrash writes:
on July 1st, 2012 at 3:06:39 AM

Maybe it's Logans Run/Soylent Green kinda thing with those scientologists they eat their wives at 34 .....

And when i say eat thats not in the good way i would have eaten all 3 of his wives.
Man in Black writes:
on July 1st, 2012 at 12:45:59 PM

And some how ... I'm not surprised .
japaninmotion writes:
on July 2nd, 2012 at 9:36:51 AM

f*ck i thought he slept in Tupperware. if thats what you have to do to stay young im in
japaninmotion writes:
on July 2nd, 2012 at 9:40:31 AM

say what you want about him come on the guys almost 50. plus he might be batsh*t crazy but he hasnt said any bad things about the jews and i heard he brings cup cakes to football parties
Stuntmanbob writes:
on July 3rd, 2012 at 2:23:46 AM

Tom Cruise is the sh*t. Don't care what anybody says. I still love that man
Ranger writes:
on July 3rd, 2012 at 8:34:05 PM

Oil up and he'll luv ya back big time!
Ranger writes:
on July 3rd, 2012 at 8:34:39 PM

I'm not saying Tom is a closet homo... ummm, ok, yeah I am.
UMRAO writes:
on July 3rd, 2012 at 8:52:11 PM

BINGO!!!

Thank God the others got away LOL!
Gnarkill writes:
on July 4th, 2012 at 4:02:02 PM

celebs and people on the west coast mainly LA are just f*cking pathetic
Rocksteddy writes:
on July 13th, 2012 at 6:59:00 AM

This is a f*cked up thread.

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