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Obi-Wan Kenobi Jailed for Violent Beating

Posted: December 4th, 2010 by WorstPreviews.com Staff
Obi-Wan Kenobi Jailed for Violent BeatingSubmit Comment
A 36-year-old Pennsylvania man was so high on a mixture of prescription pills and alcohol that he beat up his roommate almost to death without even knowing it. He later told police that he was Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi and that he was on a mission to "kill all evil."

The judge gasped while viewing photos of the victim's wounds, calling it the worst beating he'd ever seen. "This is, without a doubt, the worst case I've ever seen involving a beating that did not result in death," said the judge. "This was absolutely an attempt on your part to kill this man."

The man plead guilty to aggravated assault and related charges, and has be sentenced to 8 to 20 years in a state prison. He apologized for the attack, but said he didn't remember it. "I woke up in a holding cell at the police station," he explained.

A witness told police that the men were walking around the parking lot before one attacked the other, apparently for no reason. He choked him, punched and elbowed him in the face, then stomped on his head when he fell to the ground unconscious.

Source: MSNBC


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Displaying 39 comment(s) Profanity: Turn On
sc_kg writes:
on December 4th, 2010 at 9:27:39 AM

One more Star Wars related crime, and it will be a hat-trick.
BadChadB33 writes:
on December 4th, 2010 at 9:46:18 AM

I wanna see someone pull a crime claiming they are Yoda.
Crazyhorse writes:
on December 4th, 2010 at 9:50:18 AM

Send these Star Wars "characters" to Singapore

There they can recieve a nice capital punishment by way of a "Bamboo Light Saber" from a "Martial Artist Jedi Master"
Big_Daddy writes:
on December 4th, 2010 at 10:25:07 AM

I want to see the chewbacca crime
BITCHHUNTER writes:
on December 4th, 2010 at 10:34:23 AM

waking up with a sore *sshole in prison cell in enough to get him back to reality
bandolero999 writes:
on December 4th, 2010 at 11:34:21 AM

Cocaines a helluva drug
bandolero999 writes:
on December 4th, 2010 at 11:36:56 AM

Kill all evil huh should of gone on a spree to get rid of colin farrell,marky mark,justin bieber,jersey shore,kanye west,shannon price
The R1DDL3R writes:
on December 4th, 2010 at 11:37:01 AM

Good thing he didnt think he was Qui-Gon Jin The man could be dead right now
bandolero999 writes:
on December 4th, 2010 at 11:53:45 AM

He should of turned into darth Maul and chopped ppl up with this double edged light saber
BlueJulias writes:
on December 4th, 2010 at 1:57:51 PM

Next on the docket, somebody is going to get caught tag-teaming a dog screaming "No, no, no, Chewy! THIS one goes there, THAT one goes there!"
JUST SMILE AND BLOW ME! writes:
on December 4th, 2010 at 2:54:55 PM

They should put Obi Wan in the same cell as Lando and let the hilarity ensue!
minkowski writes:
on December 4th, 2010 at 2:59:20 PM

I guess anything tangentially connected to movies is now 'movie news'.

Next, a man in Akron, Ohio dies while holding a copy of Gigli.
Rambo writes:
on December 4th, 2010 at 3:27:59 PM

next:R2D2 jailed for raping justin bieber
OneTime writes:
on December 4th, 2010 at 3:41:21 PM

hahahahaha
darkraven28 writes:
on December 4th, 2010 at 4:11:49 PM

I'm waiting for the Jabba The hutt crime where a fat crazy druggie crushes a chick during sex and claims he thought she was Leia and he Jabba and this was the rematch.
Ranger writes:
on December 4th, 2010 at 4:20:14 PM

If there is a 'Boba-Fett' living in your area...

STAY CLEAR!

He's an ass-kicker!
Ranger writes:
on December 4th, 2010 at 4:21:01 PM

Reversely...

If there's a Jar-Jar Binks near you...

KICK THE sh*t OUT OF HIM and I'll send you cash!

trailertrash writes:
on December 4th, 2010 at 6:16:27 PM

$ or and will it be cash or cheque...
minkowski writes:
on December 4th, 2010 at 6:30:21 PM

Alex invents more news than the Inquirer.
minkowski writes:
on December 4th, 2010 at 6:34:57 PM

Oh, and for the obtuse, the man's name is

Milan Marinkovic:

http://www.phillyburbs.com/news/news_details/article/28/2010/august/01/assault-charges-filed-after-bloody-attack-3.html
minkowski writes:
on December 4th, 2010 at 6:35:32 PM

I just hope the judge's name isn't Darth Vader.
minkowski writes:
on December 4th, 2010 at 6:35:45 PM

From the planet Vulcan!
trailertrash writes:
on December 4th, 2010 at 6:47:38 PM

The other guy said he was Ben Kenobi ...
Max Rockatansky Junior writes:
on December 4th, 2010 at 7:11:14 PM

A 36-year-old Pennsylvania man was so high on a mixture of prescription pills and alcohol that he beat up his roommate almost to death without even knowing it. He later told police that he was Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi and that he was on a mission to "kill all evil."

Wonder if this dumbass listens to the rap group Jedi Mind Tricks and doesn't recognize reality from fiction.

Didn't anyone tell him he would have to go to Tatooine to fight first ?

What a f*ckingly retarded dumbass.

Why can't retarded f*ckasses love Trek instead of Wars ?

Max Rockatansky Junior writes:
on December 4th, 2010 at 7:13:01 PM

I hope he gets ass raped in the shower by a guy with a tattoo like Dark Maul and gets DP'd by two 'sabers'.
Max Rockatansky Junior writes:
on December 4th, 2010 at 7:15:26 PM


He apologized for the attack, but said he didn't remember it. "I woke up in a holding cell at the police station," he explained.

Well, I bet you'll remember the Force ... the Force your cellmate uses to make you his prison bitch as he sodomizes you so brutally and repeatedly it'll hurt to sit on your cell bed, Obi-Wan Crapoli.
DaveThePhotoGuy writes:
on December 4th, 2010 at 7:45:54 PM

Let's start a petition guys...

Star Wars needs to be banned, and brought to justice for influencing all these crimes.
Ranger writes:
on December 4th, 2010 at 8:16:14 PM

He'll wake up after taking multiple organic light saber attacks up his death star!
Max Rockatansky Junior writes:
on December 4th, 2010 at 9:39:25 PM

DaveThePhotoGuy writes:
on December 4th, 2010 at 7:45:54 PM
Let's start a petition guys...

Star Wars needs to be banned, and brought to justice for influencing all these crimes.

@ Dave The Photo Guy

Or we could BUILD that time machine Patton talked about, give him a shovel and say,

"Private Oswalt! You don't return without the scalp of Lucas and proof positive you killed him before he conceived the idea of Jar Jar Binks, Darth Vader acting emo and Lil' Boba Fett! "

Then we send him back in time.

Oh, and one other thing about that photo :

I may be the only f*cker here thinking, " My Obi ... what a big LIGHTSABER you have! "
DaveThePhotoGuy writes:
on December 4th, 2010 at 10:18:46 PM

Max Rockatansky Junior writes:
on December 4th, 2010 at 9:39:25 PM

DaveThePhotoGuy writes:
on December 4th, 2010 at 7:45:54 PM
Let's start a petition guys...

Star Wars needs to be banned, and brought to justice for influencing all these crimes.

@ Dave The Photo Guy

Or we could BUILD that time machine Patton talked about, give him a shovel and say,

"Private Oswalt! You don't return without the scalp of Lucas and proof positive you killed him before he conceived the idea of Jar Jar Binks, Darth Vader acting emo and Lil' Boba Fett! "

Then we send him back in time.

Oh, and one other thing about that photo :

I may be the only f*cker here thinking, " My Obi ... what a big LIGHTSABER you have! "



@max

Now that I would definelty be ok with.


And it's not the size, it's what you do with it, as Yoda would say.
jdl107 writes:
on December 4th, 2010 at 10:37:05 PM

Man leave Star Wars alone, you f*cks.
Max Rockatansky Junior writes:
on December 4th, 2010 at 10:48:55 PM

jdl107 writes:
on December 4th, 2010 at 10:37:05 PM
Man leave Star Wars alone, you f*cks.

@jdl107

Whatever you do, don't send Jar Jar and the Ewoks after us ....

not the Ewoks!!!!
trailertrash writes:
on December 5th, 2010 at 2:33:46 AM

Ranger-

I was just waiting for her to get the soap out and have a warm piss wash ....
Judoguru writes:
on December 5th, 2010 at 2:52:51 AM

Wasn't there that guy a while back who Robbed a bank store in a Vader costume too?... That's dedication. Really...
trailertrash writes:
on December 5th, 2010 at 2:56:53 AM

It shows Star Wars fans are a little crazy when they are short of cash or are just pissed off ..
Ranger writes:
on December 5th, 2010 at 3:10:22 AM

@tt - re: soap wash... lol.
DaveThePhotoGuy writes:
on December 5th, 2010 at 5:11:15 AM

@tt

After the raping of the Star Wars story by Lucas on EP1,2,3 I'm not suprised there is more violence.
trailertrash writes:
on December 5th, 2010 at 7:19:45 PM

dave- lol, Jar Jar Binks alone would send most people over the edge ....
darkraven28 writes:
on December 5th, 2010 at 9:42:53 PM

Now that I think about it, that's 2 recent Star Wars related news stories that WP has posted. Are these plants, or does it just show how far reaching Star Wars is in the cultural lexicon? And frankly, when am I gonna get the news story of the bear named Chewbacca who escapes from a city zoo and makes love to a porn star, leading to the world's strangest reality show, which will have more blurs in it than any reality show in history? (Sighs). It's been a f*ckin' weird day.

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