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Meanest Jokes from the Quentin Tarantino Roast

Posted: December 2nd, 2010 by WorstPreviews.com Staff
Meanest Jokes from the Quentin Tarantino RoastSubmit Comment
Stars came out for the roast of Quentin Tarantino that will apparently not air anywhere, but witnesses say the event was very bizarre and even included Tarantino drinking wine out of Uma Thurman's shoes, satisfying his rumored foot fetish. Here is a list of some of the meanest jokes:

Jeff Ross said that "Tarantino" is an Italian word meaning plagiarism. "You're like Martin Scorceso-so." He added: "You changed the face of cinema. I just wish cinema would return the favor."

Sarah Silverman said Tarantino turned down directing "Speed," which is "the first time he ever turned down speed."

Comedian Whitney Cummings said that there were so many "white conservatives" in the audience that someone had tried to bid on Samuel L. Jackson during the silent auction. She also joked about Eli Roth's "Hostel" and Kathy Griffin's plastic surgery, stating: "No matter how much you cut it, it's still horrible."

Rob Schneider said that John Travolta was not able to attend the roast because "there was a 'Fags in Denial Who Believe in Aliens' convention."

Michael Madsen, meanwhile, called director Brett Ratner a "short little freak."

Finally, before taking off her shoes to let Tarantino drink wine out of them, Thurman recalled: "We were sitting in Quentin's office during a particularly grueling moment of shooting ['Kill Bill'], and I irritated him somehow. And he said, 'You do that one more time and, next time we work together, I'm gonna write 'Bitch' on the back of your chair!' And I said, 'Honey, next time we work together, you might as well write 'idiot' on the back of my chair.'"

Source: Various


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Displaying 31 comment(s) Profanity: Turn On
DaveThePhotoGuy writes:
on December 2nd, 2010 at 6:30:36 AM

Weird how Sarah Silverman is the only one I didn't laugh at after reading.
Ari Gold writes:
on December 2nd, 2010 at 6:33:39 AM

Michael Madsen forgot the bit how Brett f*cks handicapped women hanging off trees.
trailertrash writes:
on December 2nd, 2010 at 6:40:33 AM

Dave she finally made out with Jessica biel afterwards, which made it alright in the end..
Big_Daddy writes:
on December 2nd, 2010 at 8:04:56 AM

Comedian Whitney c*mmings said that there were so many "white conservatives" in the audience that someone had tried to bid on Samuel L. Jackson during the silent auction.

Damn that's some funny sh*t.

ENGISH MOTHERf*ckA! DO YOU SPEAK IT!
DaveThePhotoGuy writes:
on December 2nd, 2010 at 8:15:16 AM

@tt

at least that's something.
freshfromthedeli writes:
on December 2nd, 2010 at 8:20:45 AM

Why the hell isn't this being televised?
Max Rockatansky Junior writes:
on December 2nd, 2010 at 10:19:50 AM

Comedian Whitney c*mmings said that there were so many "white conservatives" in the audience that someone had tried to bid on Samuel L. Jackson during the silent auction ... They had 40 acres of cotton they needed for him to pull. Otherwise, Sammy got the whip.


Rob Schneider said that John Travolta was not able to attend the roast because "there was a 'Fags in Denial Who Believe in Aliens' convention."... Rob's just jealous. I mean, how can you contend with : Judge Dredd, The Animal, Big Stan .... Criterion isn't knowing what their missing.


Michael Madsen, meanwhile, called director Brett Ratner a "short little freak." ... Well, if anyone knows anything about being a freak, it's the Madsen family.


"We were sitting in Quentin's office during a particularly grueling moment of shooting ['Kill Bill'], and I irritated him somehow. And he said, 'You do that one more time and, next time we work together, I'm gonna write 'Bitch' on the back of your chair!' And I said, 'Honey, next time we work together, you might as well write 'idiot' on the back of my chair.'" ... So THAT explains My Super Ex-Girlfriend!


Jeffrey Ross said that "Tarantino" is an Italian word meaning plagiarism. "You're like Martin Scorceso-so." He added: "You changed the face of cinema. I just wish cinema would return the favor." ... Wow. Soupy Sales bastard son from a bad Tequila night with a hooker on Times Square with meningitis has the GAUL to say Quentin is ugly ?
BadChadB33 writes:
on December 2nd, 2010 at 10:20:36 AM

All I gotta say is Rob give it up your not funny anymore, that's why your not in any movies. Give it up.
Max Rockatansky Junior writes:
on December 2nd, 2010 at 10:42:24 AM

Having Rob Schneider at a celebrity roast is like signing up a lobotomized retard into Mensa.
Max Rockatansky Junior writes:
on December 2nd, 2010 at 10:44:27 AM

Sarah Silverman said Tarantino turned down directing "Speed," which is "the first time he ever turned down speed." ... which just goes to show at least he would turn something down. She's sucked more c*cks to get into Hollywood than Justin Beiber has to be nominated for the VMAs.

Hey Sarah,

Just say no.


Max Rockatansky Junior writes:
on December 2nd, 2010 at 10:45:57 AM


Comedian Whitney c*mmings said that there were so many "white conservatives" in the audience that someone had tried to bid on Samuel L. Jackson during the silent auction. She also joked about Eli Roth's "Hostel" and Kathy Griffin's plastic surgery, stating: "No matter how much you cut it, it's still horrible."

I saw a picture of Whitney c*mmings (nice porn name by the way) ... man, hardcore snuff films have not been kind to you, have they Whitney ?
Valerie writes:
on December 2nd, 2010 at 11:25:57 AM

Woah at Uma saying that, cool points for being honest. She said in 2008 they were not on speaking terms, but will get "there", so i guess the blow out was pretty big!
wanderinghobo77 writes:
on December 2nd, 2010 at 12:25:21 PM

i'd bid on samuel l. jackson
tonguepunchingpussy writes:
on December 2nd, 2010 at 12:54:46 PM

Travolta couldn't be there cause he is trying to keep his newborn from dying like Jet...
Ranger writes:
on December 2nd, 2010 at 1:08:58 PM

Yeah... Jett was grounded due to a major malf*cktion.

Jeffrey Ross is one to joke about the lack of pleasantness of anothers face!

@Dave - I find Sarah rarely funny. I like her though. She'll use the word 'vagina' here and here for shock value.

@BadChad - Rob Schneider has never been funny. He gets work because on the charity of his friends.

'Makin copies...' guy from SNL was his only funny shtick I can recall.

Whitney c*mmings - too funny.

'I'M SO SICK AND TIRED OF ALL THESE GOD-DAMN BLACK JOKES AT THESE CELEBRITY ROASTS!!!'
- Samuel L. Jackson (Tarantino Roast 2010).
rocketman writes:
on December 2nd, 2010 at 2:14:38 PM

Those are insults not humor.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xe1a1wHxTyo&feature=related
Ranger writes:
on December 2nd, 2010 at 2:38:47 PM

Check out these! ANY Dean Martin Celebrity Roast is worth any 20 roasts put together today!

Not even a competition!

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=dean+martin+celeb+roast&aq=0
Ranger writes:
on December 2nd, 2010 at 2:40:52 PM

Oh Jesus!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PH23UjMG5wQ
Ranger writes:
on December 2nd, 2010 at 2:43:10 PM

Check out the guest lists on Dean Martin's Roasts. General Omar Bradley, Neil Armstrong, Sugar Ray, Bob Hope, Milton Burle, Ronald Regan.

Amazing!
trailertrash writes:
on December 2nd, 2010 at 4:03:54 PM

Rocket/Ranger - Great clips guys !!
trailertrash writes:
on December 2nd, 2010 at 4:10:37 PM

Four Yorkshiremen was originally writen and performed by Tim Brook Taylor (remember the Goodies lol), Marty Feldman, Cleese and Chapman...

That is Classic British Humor there, We Don't really see it anymore..
trailertrash writes:
on December 2nd, 2010 at 4:12:00 PM

^Only in a Rerun .....
rocketman writes:
on December 2nd, 2010 at 4:17:04 PM

Its Palin that makes it,cracks me up. As good as 'Four Candals'
rocketman writes:
on December 2nd, 2010 at 4:23:17 PM

Ranger,great clip.i get the roast insult thing now,thought they were just being d*cks
Ranger writes:
on December 2nd, 2010 at 4:28:12 PM

Well, you are right. The new roasts, the 'celebs' aren't clever enough to give a good insult... they are just being d*cks.

But the Dean Martin roasts, insults-a-plenty!
trailertrash writes:
on December 2nd, 2010 at 4:35:14 PM

Four Candles , Do you mean The Two Ronnies when Corbett is the shopkeeper and Barker is the customer.

Anything written by or starring Ronnie Barker is Gold as far as i'm concerned , Porridge is up there with only fools and horses as the best tv comedy show ever ..
Ranger writes:
on December 2nd, 2010 at 8:20:56 PM

Wow... just rec. an email of a rare clip:

The email read:

THIS IS A CLASSIC!!
WE WILL NEVER SEE THE LIKES OF THIS AGAIN.
This show was at Kiel Opera House in St Louis June 1965. Johnny Carson hosted....
Carson had the Tonight Show. The Rat Pack were playing Vegas.
This is supposed to be the ONLY time Carson sang in public.
Quincy Jones was conducting the Basie band, and he is visible in the background.
Do Not miss this performance………….it should make your day !

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=VPH0-g25Vl8




DaveThePhotoGuy writes:
on December 2nd, 2010 at 11:05:51 PM

@ranger- guess we can see what kind of comedian (I use thst term losely) she is.

@tt

Yep love "Porridge" never get tired of watching the series or the movie.

Mr Ronnie Barker- never really appreciated until he was gone.

rocketman writes:
on December 3rd, 2010 at 2:14:24 AM

@Trailer.thats right,classic.
trailertrash writes:
on December 3rd, 2010 at 5:33:09 AM

Dave-

Your spot on mate, He was a Genius and should have been regarded so while he was alive.

Loved the fact you could go into his antique shop in Chipping norton and there was a good chance he would serve you

They filmed some of the Porridge movie at Chelmsford Prison i lived right oposite there for about 6 years a while ago (saw tony adams come out of there too)

A TV LEGEND !!

Rocket - Your right Classic....

Ranger- NICE Mate

Just doesn't get any better than those 3 i tell you, f*ck all that pop, rap sh*t of today these guys know how to sing and entertain.

Hell those 3 made Cannonball Run 2 worth watching ......
rocketman writes:
on December 3rd, 2010 at 10:28:53 AM

@Ranger
Ratpack rule,allways on when i make some Italian,few glasses of vino etc,pure class.

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