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Trailer: Michelle Rodriguez's Mysterious "Citizen Kane" Remake

Posted: September 28th, 2010 by WorstPreviews.com Staff
Trailer: Michelle RodriguezSubmit Comment
Fantastic Fest is currently going on in Texas, where posters for a mysterious Michelle Rodriguez movie are hanging. Entitled "Citizen Jane," the posters list a website (CitizenJaneMovie.com) that contains a teaser trailer for the new film, which is promoted as a "Citizen Kane" remake. Check out the poster and the teaser below.

Plot: The 70th anniversary of the film that started it all. "Citizen Jane" stars Michelle Rodriguez as Charlotte Foster Jane, a lethal assassin hell bent on avenging the murder of her parents in this guns blazing, action packed retelling of Orson Welles 1941 classic, "Citizen Kane." She will do anything for her Rosebud...

Looking deeper, the poster features a release date of September 5th, 2011. "Citizen Kane" was released on September 5th, 1941, making it a difference of 70 years. A copyright notice on the website lists Urban Arson, which is an anagram for Aaron Burns, a visual effects artist who wrote and directed an independent $1 million movie called "Blacktino," which signed Rodriguez back in August.

The film revolves around an overweight half-black, half-Hispanic nerd named Stefan Daily who struggles to find his place in a mostly white high school. He eventually finds sanctuary among the eclectic mix of social outcasts in the school's Theater Department.

If I were to take a guess, "Citizen Jane" is part of a viral campaign for "Blacktino," which also stars Danny Trejo and Jeff Fahey.

Poster: (click to enlarge)


Teaser:

If you cannot see the player, click here.


Source: CitizenJaneMovie.com


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Displaying 27 comment(s) Profanity: Turn On
trailertrash writes:
on September 28th, 2010 at 6:55:51 AM

(((((( SHUDDER'S))))))
johnny_boy writes:
on September 28th, 2010 at 7:00:44 AM

Rodriguez has definitely been climbing up the "looking hot" ladder.
Farradin writes:
on September 28th, 2010 at 7:52:32 AM

I have 3 word; What,the and the last one rhymes with duck!
KallousTom writes:
on September 28th, 2010 at 8:13:11 AM

Oh my sweet Jesus. The amount of times me and my friends have discussed how Citizen Kane CAN NOT BE TOUCHED is unreal. Why would you do this!?
Ari Gold writes:
on September 28th, 2010 at 8:19:32 AM

TITS or GTFO!
Peter Parker writes:
on September 28th, 2010 at 8:30:34 AM

So, Rosebud was the bazooka she used to play with as a child?

And when I say "bazooka", feel free to interpret that as innuendo for some sexual object.

And when I say "used to play with as a child", feel free to interpret that as innuendo for some sexual underage activity.
CCBlev writes:
on September 28th, 2010 at 9:19:42 AM

@PP-Lol
If this is legit, well sooner or later it was gonna happen.
SACdaddy writes:
on September 28th, 2010 at 9:31:25 AM

"Blacktino"

Best name for a film ever :)

Some suggestions for the sequel:

Blackanese
Chinegro
Hebro
Blaxican
Wigger: White on the Outside but Brown on the Inside!!!
freshfromthedeli writes:
on September 28th, 2010 at 9:32:22 AM

Sounds terrible and I don't know why people find her hot.
Rambo writes:
on September 28th, 2010 at 10:30:32 AM

that was dumb.and who the f*ck will go see a movie with michelle rodriguez as the main star?
Freudian_Nightmare writes:
on September 28th, 2010 at 10:36:48 AM

But she really can rock a tank-top. Speaking of which:

http://www.cracked.com/funny-6301-michelle-rodriguez/
johnny_boy writes:
on September 28th, 2010 at 11:26:49 AM

@ Rambo- almost every Mexican who came from Mexico cuz they're so dumb they'll watch anything dumb as long as it has their own kind in it.
coldplayesence writes:
on September 28th, 2010 at 12:33:56 PM

R.I.P Sally Menke...
coldplayesence writes:
on September 28th, 2010 at 1:49:14 PM

Mexicans coming from mexico... someone should be writing award winning novels.
koul writes:
on September 28th, 2010 at 3:05:57 PM

Michelle is to me the most beautiful actress i like the most.
southpawjohnny writes:
on September 28th, 2010 at 3:37:47 PM

hilarity...
JUST SMILE AND BLOW ME! writes:
on September 28th, 2010 at 5:10:32 PM

Xanadu? So Olivia Newton-John is in it?
Scott Baiowulf writes:
on September 28th, 2010 at 5:45:00 PM

Dont get me wrong, i enjoy the pun... but can a whole movie ride on simple word play??? If thats true we'll have a twatlight movie fairly soon...
Blank x2 writes:
on September 28th, 2010 at 6:58:46 PM

There are actually heterosexual males who don't think Michelle Rodriguez is hot?

And since when did watching a movie with a hot chick in the lead become unexplainable? I watched Aeon Flux for Charlize Theron and her only. And the movie was beyond awful. And I was not disappointed. Hot women in terrible lead are like 3D in Avatar: the only reason to watch.

Hot female + male audience = success. Not that difficult.
Blank x2 writes:
on September 28th, 2010 at 7:02:42 PM

Before people crucify me, this movie will be an utter failure financially and critically.
Why they decided to remake Citizen Kane is beyond me, and why they decided to remake it like this is not even laughable at this point.

But, it will be watchable. At least to me, anyway.

Max Rockatansky Junior writes:
on September 28th, 2010 at 7:42:17 PM

Okay, so let's see if I can wrap my noggin around this ... Orson Welles was in Citizen Kane, carrying an AK-47 and killing the fatcats that were preventing Hearst from printing his magazine, all the while he confides in his gardner, Chuy (played by Danny Trejo, of course ... with a lot of steak knives and a pair of gardening shears), that he's in love with the this sled AND Olivia Newton John .... so he teleports himself to a roller rink in the late 70s, where Gene Kelly is teaching Olivia how to rollerskate, but then Hearst feels too scared to profess his true feelings to Olivia, so he has Chuy rampage Olivia's house and rape her, impregnating her with his 'roseseed', so that she will give birth to Rosebud, played by Michelle Rodgriguez ?

Or am I totally off ?
Max Rockatansky Junior writes:
on September 28th, 2010 at 7:44:11 PM

^ Sounds like telenovella on Univision or Telemundo, intersected by infomercials for ambulence chasers, sex lines and penis enlargement.
boogiel writes:
on September 28th, 2010 at 11:40:56 PM

Typical Hollywood...always f*ck up a good ol' classic by remaking it.
Eben1277 writes:
on September 28th, 2010 at 11:52:05 PM

I'll watch anything with Michelle Rodriguez. I even watched Blue Crush and Bloodrayne.
j-man writes:
on September 29th, 2010 at 8:26:14 AM

shes really gotten out of the typcast butch roles she said she didnt want to do any more.......on another note...she'd better not talk when im annihalating her pus*y
dynastygod2000 writes:
on September 29th, 2010 at 3:24:38 PM

i got to agree with blank on this one...thats the only reason they made more than one resident evil or a sequel to anything that is that lame. because dudes like hot chicks, cars, and guns....hints more than one fast and furious.
Scott Baiowulf writes:
on September 29th, 2010 at 8:47:28 PM

How bout "Citizen Pain." One man, one mission, searching for rosebud... kills his way to the top! Sounds better to me than citizen jane. And if you just want to see a pretty face... thats what porn is for.

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