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Poster: Lindsay Lohan is a Gun-Licking Nun in "Machete"

Posted: July 14th, 2010 by WorstPreviews.com Staff
Poster: Lindsay Lohan is a Gun-Licking Nun in "Machete"Submit Comment
Even though the last "Machete" trailer complete left Lindsay Lohan out of it, 20th Century Fox has now unveiled a character poster featuring Lohan as a gun-licking nun. Check it out below.

Plot: The movie finds Machete (Danny Trejo), a renegade former Mexican Federale, roaming the streets of Texas after a shakedown from drug lord Torrez (Steven Seagal). Reluctantly, Machete takes an offer from spin doctor Benz (Jeff Fahey) to assassinate McLaughlin (Robert De Niro) a corrupt Senator. Double crossed and on the run Machete braves the odds with the help of Luz (Michelle Rodriguez), a saucy taco slinger, Padre (Cheech Marin) his "holy" brother, and April (Lohan) a socialite with a penchant for guns. All while being tracked by Sartana (Jessica Alba), a sexy ICE agent with a special interest in the blade slinger.

"Machete" is written and directed by Robert Rodriguez and is scheduled to hit theaters on September 3rd.

Poster: (click to enlarge)


Click here to read more about "Machete."

Source: RopeOfSilicon


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Displaying 44 comment(s) Profanity: Turn On
nope.com writes:
on July 13th, 2010 at 11:16:10 PM

no Lindsay you put the gun INTO the mouth you c*nt
nope.com writes:
on July 13th, 2010 at 11:17:36 PM

btw... "You should just smile and blow me!"
is my favorite quote of all time thanks to one Mel Gibson

thanks Gibs
SpookyCupcakes writes:
on July 13th, 2010 at 11:20:00 PM

I wish this wasn't lohan :( Sexy nurses are the reason why I get up in the morning.
qwertyuiop22ful writes:
on July 13th, 2010 at 11:20:28 PM

the gun being a jail bar??
johnny_boy writes:
on July 13th, 2010 at 11:22:43 PM

The sad part is she wasn't even posing for a Machete poster. she was just really high on some bad stuff and somebody had a camera at the right moment
HorrorJunky4Life writes:
on July 13th, 2010 at 11:24:32 PM

The last paying Hollywood job Lohan will ever have. Maybe now she will fade to Hasbeenville.
CCBlev writes:
on July 13th, 2010 at 11:26:45 PM

Well shes gonna get some good c*nt licking training in jail. Bye Bye Lohvag, have fun with Brunoette.
Max Rockatansky Junior writes:
on July 13th, 2010 at 11:32:11 PM

She must've had a lot of practice with that from pop.
Max Rockatansky Junior writes:
on July 13th, 2010 at 11:33:52 PM

Can't wait to hear TMZ label Lohaggis as " PRISON BITCH OF THE MILLENIUM "
Max Rockatansky Junior writes:
on July 13th, 2010 at 11:35:13 PM

The cops are going to have a field day cavity searching Lindsay .. but they may want to wear heavy duty gloves ... ya know, like the ones they used to pull the gerbil out of Richard Gere's colon.
Max Rockatansky Junior writes:
on July 13th, 2010 at 11:40:52 PM

CCBlev writes:
on July 13th, 2010 at 11:26:45 PM

Well shes gonna get some good c*nt licking training in jail. Bye Bye Lohvag, have fun with Brunoette.


@CC

It can only prep her for porn.

What's Megan Fox's excuse ?

Oh. She married Brian Austin Green. Oooooh. When he stops pretending he wants to be Mark Wahlberg and gets a job doing mall security (if it's good for Gary Colemen RIP, it's good enough for this sh*tbag), then MAYBE I'll be impressed. I mean, who does HE think HE is ... Tore (I'll have so much plastic surgery that even Joan Rivers will go 'Damn, that bitch looks tore up from the floor up!') Spelling with soap opera money ? He's lucky he isn't trolling for tweens at Hot Topic. And she needs to think about porn, because she's got less talent than Traci Lords and has less IQ than the late Savannah.
Max Rockatansky Junior writes:
on July 13th, 2010 at 11:42:09 PM

^Tori, not Tore (well, looking at her face, she's two late payments away from looking like the Rip Torn mugshot)
Max Rockatansky Junior writes:
on July 13th, 2010 at 11:43:13 PM

When Lindsay comes out of the pokie (poke her, I say, with a sharp stick), she'll look like that Nick Nolte picture taken after he got arrested for taking the date rape drug.
Max Rockatansky Junior writes:
on July 13th, 2010 at 11:45:11 PM

Mel would probably tell her to " f*ckin' stay AWAY from me! I need a woman, not a c*nt! Lohan, DON'T BLOW ME, you f*ckin' twatooze ... "

'Cause even Mad, Mad, Mad Mel has limits ....
HorrorJunky4Life writes:
on July 13th, 2010 at 11:49:43 PM

So I take it there won't be a Red Sonia movie?
koul writes:
on July 14th, 2010 at 12:01:19 AM

i don't like lindsay lohan but the idea of a gun shooting nun? that is cool
Max Rockatansky Junior writes:
on July 14th, 2010 at 12:03:31 AM

@Horror Junkie

I don't know if Lohaggal got offered Red Sonja. I know Rose McGowan was attached to while Robert's penis was attached to her colon, but now it's a dead issue, like Lohaggal's career at the moment.
Ranger writes:
on July 14th, 2010 at 2:09:05 AM

And it was actually Michelle Rodriguez slinging her saucy taco that got her this role.
Ranger writes:
on July 14th, 2010 at 2:09:47 AM

The bastards photo-shopped a gun over my c*ck!!!
trailertrash writes:
on July 14th, 2010 at 2:41:59 AM

Looks like she's got freddy krueger's tongue !!
Ranger writes:
on July 14th, 2010 at 2:43:24 AM

Is his laden with canker sores too?
trailertrash writes:
on July 14th, 2010 at 2:55:36 AM

I think so, but not as bad as lindsay's !!

She sets the bar for sores ..
Ranger writes:
on July 14th, 2010 at 2:57:56 AM

So... is that Kirstie Ally's clit she's licking in that pic?
trailertrash writes:
on July 14th, 2010 at 2:58:22 AM

Only Dina gets close to her with all the sores , And they both get them from Michael !!
Ranger writes:
on July 14th, 2010 at 3:00:56 AM

I don't doubt that for one second my friend!
trailertrash writes:
on July 14th, 2010 at 3:02:09 AM

if your licking anything on Kirstie Ally, you would need a map to find your way around her lower region and some tent poles to hold the fat up with !!

its a 2 man job really (for safety)
trailertrash writes:
on July 14th, 2010 at 3:08:11 AM

Only an EXPENDABLES ERECTION!!!!!! can satisfy Kirstie !!
Ranger writes:
on July 14th, 2010 at 3:17:33 AM

lol.
Mudders writes:
on July 14th, 2010 at 3:35:51 AM

i dont care what anyone says...i would f*ck her any day of the week...she's f*ckin hot.

CyberpunkCentral writes:
on July 14th, 2010 at 3:40:15 AM

Lindsay Lohan IS DEAD!?
Ranger writes:
on July 14th, 2010 at 3:45:07 AM

Nope... no such luck.
Why... did you have today in the WP Loslag Death Pool?
nykosvpadula writes:
on July 14th, 2010 at 4:19:28 AM

this bitch should make a cd album and call it whale sounds, this bitch is fat! that was sarcasm
trailertrash writes:
on July 14th, 2010 at 4:52:47 AM

CC- Brunoette lol
ACTIONFIGURE writes:
on July 14th, 2010 at 7:30:01 AM

That the gun she used to kill her career with.
Crazyhorse writes:
on July 14th, 2010 at 8:56:53 AM

After looking at that picture above I will never touch Alcohol again
LastActionHero writes:
on July 14th, 2010 at 11:52:38 AM

hot
Ranger writes:
on July 14th, 2010 at 12:09:39 PM

'Lindsay Lohan is a Gun-Licking Nun'

And by 'Lindsay Lohan' they mean 'Whore!'
And by 'Gun-Licking' they mean 'c*ck-Sucking!'
And by 'Nun' they mean 'Stripper!'
Gates writes:
on July 14th, 2010 at 12:29:15 PM

How the f*ck did Lohan get into a nun outfit WITHOUT being struck by lightning?
Gates writes:
on July 14th, 2010 at 12:29:31 PM

Nevermind.. she gave Jesus a blow job.
Ranger writes:
on July 14th, 2010 at 12:51:58 PM

Word!
encoreyourface writes:
on July 14th, 2010 at 1:57:10 PM

nope-first comment-LOL!!!!

gotta say ... with all cgi editing and make-up ..... she actually looks doable.
Ranger writes:
on July 14th, 2010 at 4:55:10 PM

nope.com DID leave out: 'Then pull trigger!'
Ranger writes:
on July 14th, 2010 at 4:55:29 PM

PS: Only 5 days left for Lindsay to off herself.
Ranger writes:
on July 14th, 2010 at 6:27:33 PM

Guess all that 'gun-licking' she did with Daddy and Mommy's strap-on finally paid off.

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