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Uwe Boll to Direct "Metroid" Movie Starring Jessica Simpson?

Posted: June 9th, 2010 by WorstPreviews.com Staff
Uwe Boll to Direct "Metroid" Movie Starring Jessica Simpson?Submit Comment
GoFanboy is spreading a rumor that Nintendo has decided to move forward with a movie based on the "Metroid" property. And bring the video game to the big screen, the company has hired Jessica Simpson to star and Uwe Boll to direct.

According to the site, Simpson will play space bounty hunter Samus Aran, whose goal is to rid the world of energy-sucking beasts called Metroids.

Apparently Simpson's publicists have confirmed the rumor, adding that the actress/singer will contribute to the plot. Here is the exact quote: "Ms. Simpson feels the plot is too complex and would like to move the plot closer to it's core story of love and adventure."

Source: GoFanboy, JoBlo


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Displaying 51 comment(s) Profanity: Turn On
Danim writes:
on June 9th, 2010 at 7:31:05 AM

this simply cannot be true...then again...
johnny_boy writes:
on June 9th, 2010 at 7:31:10 AM

Another straight to DVD film for her
nzfilmmaker writes:
on June 9th, 2010 at 7:35:48 AM

Ms. Simpson feels the plot is too complex!?! She probably finds putting on her socks to complex!!
wonderBOY writes:
on June 9th, 2010 at 7:38:45 AM

http://au.rottentomatoes.com/celebrity/uwe_boll/ his highest movie is 11% and its not even a video game movie
TwoTakez writes:
on June 9th, 2010 at 7:40:00 AM

Uwe Boll? When will these people learn?!?!?!
johnny_boy writes:
on June 9th, 2010 at 7:44:04 AM

She's waisting her time. Think we all know that any type of film to work for her is porn. She's untalented in singing and acting but sure she can ride it really good. She just keeps teasing men with those breast and needs to do some porn already
Max Rockatansky Junior writes:
on June 9th, 2010 at 7:49:40 AM

According to the site, Simpson will play space bounty hunter Samus Aran, whose goal is to rid the world of energy-sucking beasts called Metroids.

Apparently Simpson's publicists have confirmed the rumor, adding that the actress/singer will contribute to the plot. Here is the exact quote: "Ms. Simpson feels the plot is too complex and would like to move the plot closer to it's core story of love and adventure."


Uwe Boll AND Jessica Simpson ? How can this not miss ? I see an OSCAR NOMINATION on this one! ESPECIALLY since she's contributing to it! But the name ... Metroid ... sound like an ass cream like Preparation H ... why not WASHED OUT SINGER WITH THE ACTING SKILLS OF A DIMESTORE WOODEN INDIAN IN A MOVIE WHERE SHE'S FIGHTING THINGS THAT SUCK ENERGY, RATHER THAN SUCKING THEM OFF, SINCE THAT'S ALL SHE CAN DO WITHOUT THE AUDIENCE GAGGING AT HER ACTING SKILLS OR JERKING OFF TO HER WITH THE SOUND ON MUTE, DIRECTED BY A GUY THAT COULDN'T DIRECT EITHER AN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL PLAY OR TRAFFIC ... I mean, that would completely encapulate this masterpiece by the guy who is suing people who downloaded his other Golden Globe winner, Far Cry ....


UWE. JESSICA. THAT WAS SARCASM.


GO DROWN YOURSELVES IN YOUR OWN FECES, YOU WASTES OF SPACE.
YourFriendWithTheBigDick writes:
on June 9th, 2010 at 7:51:44 AM

best man for the job
i always used to play as samus when i was a kid, he was my fav character out of the game
cant wait to see his big robo d*ck on the big screen ;L....
steaknugget26 writes:
on June 9th, 2010 at 7:53:22 AM

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!
sc_kg writes:
on June 9th, 2010 at 8:15:55 AM

Uwe Boll! Yeah! I love the guy!
Ari Gold writes:
on June 9th, 2010 at 8:19:36 AM

Lol this bitch was best looking during Dukes of Hazzard era. Then she ate too much..
Roadblock8 writes:
on June 9th, 2010 at 8:25:44 AM

this is super mario bros all over again!!!! Meh!!
trailertrash writes:
on June 9th, 2010 at 8:34:46 AM

Saw Jessica Simpson talking about how bad her sh*t Smelt on that show newlyweds once ..

So this project will be like art imitating life then !!!
trailertrash writes:
on June 9th, 2010 at 8:47:13 AM

Simpson will contribute to the plot !!

The new movie will be called "Hemorrhoids" , and will be based on all time she has been sitting around doing f*ck all but eat waiting for the phone to ring to offer her a job !! (blow or work, either one it's been along time )...
DaveThePhotoGuy writes:
on June 9th, 2010 at 9:33:23 AM

YES! YES! YES! I love every movie Jessica is in and Uwe Boll is a very underated Director!














Now if you believe that you will probably think that Avaturd had the best story ever in any movie made past, present or future.






Seriously though this sounds so bad it could be good.
lebowski writes:
on June 9th, 2010 at 9:51:36 AM

Uwe boll, mark steven johnson ,tim story ,joe johnston please stop making movies
Lulupendragon writes:
on June 9th, 2010 at 10:15:02 AM

Plz make him stop trying to make movies based on videogames, plz plz plz.
Crazyhorse writes:
on June 9th, 2010 at 10:16:17 AM

I think it will be a hit if she wears the outfit pictured above

Keeps her mouth shut and lets the voice of Darth Vader do the voice over for her

Thoughts anyone?
CCBlev writes:
on June 9th, 2010 at 10:40:40 AM

This has got to be a f*cking joke! Uwe Boll and Jessica a match made in movie hell. Here's to an end of a potential great frinachise, f*ck you Hollywood.
Bunny X writes:
on June 9th, 2010 at 11:32:30 AM

There is absolutely no possible way that this is true. You mean to tell me that Nintendo is willing to put one of it's most popular and storied franchise finally to the big screen and they're going with Daisy Duke?!?!

Will never happen.......but they did put sh*t to their MOST recognized property with that Mario Brothers puke-fest that made it to the big screen so I can never say never.
zombie345trioxin writes:
on June 9th, 2010 at 11:36:07 AM

at least its not the guy whos directing showgirls 2
makingcircles writes:
on June 9th, 2010 at 11:36:14 AM

I'm happy to say I've never seen a Uwe Boll film and after reading is Wikipedia info...I now never will. Sad that he is possibly going to f*ck up Metroid.
Inception writes:
on June 9th, 2010 at 11:43:55 AM

Big disappointment. 2012 isn't the end of the world instead the end of Hollywood.
koul writes:
on June 9th, 2010 at 12:00:53 PM

they need a better director and actress. this movie will suck alot
RoadDogXVIII writes:
on June 9th, 2010 at 12:13:52 PM

Uwe Boll wouldn't be THIS predictable. Plus, Jessica Simpson is huge right now (though she said she's losing wait... BULLsh*t!)
Aingx writes:
on June 9th, 2010 at 12:14:37 PM

There have been movie rumors for a decade, but I doubt Uwe Boll would do anything so main-stream. The game could work as a movie, but it wouldn't be very good...
The5thBeatle5 writes:
on June 9th, 2010 at 12:18:21 PM

way to f*cking ruin Metroid!!
ChadRo writes:
on June 9th, 2010 at 12:26:49 PM

Who the hell are the geniuses that keep giving this piece of crap PUwe Boll money to make the worst movies of all time? This guy is worthless. The guy who filmed my sisters wedding could do a better job directing a film.
Ranma-Irias writes:
on June 9th, 2010 at 12:46:42 PM

LOL seriously it's like they want the movie to suck major ass balls
ChainsawX writes:
on June 9th, 2010 at 1:16:08 PM

good lord nintendo did you not learn with super mario brothers...if this comes to pass i shall never buy anything nintendo again.....cause metal gear would be next
billofill writes:
on June 9th, 2010 at 1:20:55 PM

it's a misprint
kal_el_in_metropolis: he's actually directing Legend of Zelda with Simpson as the princess
Man in Black writes:
on June 9th, 2010 at 1:33:01 PM

please do this .... and yet another nail in both there coffins so they stop making movies and do away
RuGhi writes:
on June 9th, 2010 at 2:05:19 PM

Yeah let's f*ck another great storyline up.
GO HOLLYWOOD!!! GO.

Jessica simpson was and is created for one purpose only and that is to have a gangbang with all the WP peeps.

In the great words of Seth Rogen: "Let us f*ck!"
RickyGabrielBird writes:
on June 9th, 2010 at 2:10:04 PM

Easily not true. Nintendo have more sense than letting that twat near their franchise.

Nice pic. Good to see Jessica indicating how many penis's she can fit inside at once.
scarface85 writes:
on June 9th, 2010 at 3:25:59 PM

holy God can some one write nintendo not to do this sh*t with uweboll, i know if they give me 100,000 i can do a better movie on my house backyard, about metroid
aymanut writes:
on June 9th, 2010 at 3:52:58 PM

Do we ever report on GOOD movies on this site?
RickyGabrielBird writes:
on June 9th, 2010 at 4:10:08 PM

'worst'previews...

your answer is in the name.
aymanut writes:
on June 9th, 2010 at 4:17:54 PM

"Good to see Jessica indicating how many penis's she can fit inside at once."

ONLY TWO???
RickyGabrielBird writes:
on June 9th, 2010 at 4:24:47 PM

@aymanut: If it were any more she would be working with Michael Bay by now.
secondbest writes:
on June 9th, 2010 at 6:00:23 PM

"Ms. Simpson feels the plot is too complex...."
Well, when you're as dumb as a brick, a lot can seem too complex.
DeVries writes:
on June 9th, 2010 at 6:34:53 PM

I just open my dictionary to see Uwe Boll's face as an explanation to the word FAIL.
matternm58 writes:
on June 9th, 2010 at 9:09:09 PM

I actually like those games. But I want it to be based off of Metroid Prime. But NO Jessica Simpson.
Zebastian von Kane writes:
on June 9th, 2010 at 9:44:57 PM

I didn't like Metroid since gamecube anyway.

Blew it.
Max Rockatansky Junior writes:
on June 9th, 2010 at 11:35:28 PM

Not that it's relevant to the story, but why can't some Columbian drug lords hit squad just bury these two f*ckstains alive by now ?
Max Rockatansky Junior writes:
on June 9th, 2010 at 11:36:15 PM

You know why she's got the peace sign up ?

So she can remember, " Two in the pink, one in the stink ".
simplytyson writes:
on June 10th, 2010 at 1:04:29 AM

if this is true i will literally kill somebody
masht7 writes:
on June 10th, 2010 at 2:17:22 AM

Let me adjust the title: 'Steroid'.

'From the notes of Uwe Boll'.
encoreyourface writes:
on June 10th, 2010 at 3:07:14 AM

why isn't the title of the article saying "Uwe Boll to Direct "Metroid" Movie Starring Massive,Gaping c*nt."?
Ranma-Irias writes:
on June 10th, 2010 at 12:45:45 PM

the reason she's doing that peace thing with her fingers is because she wants the world to know how wide her ass is!
encoreyourface writes:
on June 10th, 2010 at 10:08:49 PM

lol! as if we didn't already know.
sqlinjector writes:
on June 25th, 2010 at 8:37:24 PM

Someone just leaked the first two pages of this movie. Take a look for yourself- it doesn't look bad AT ALL. http://www.rumormiller.com/viewtopic.php?f=112&t=108&r=Jessica+Simpons%27+Metroid+Screenplay+Leaked

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