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"Machete" Trailer is Here!

Posted: May 5th, 2010 by WorstPreviews.com Staff
"Machete" Trailer is Here!Submit Comment
Robert Rodriguez and Danny Trejo put together the first trailer for "Machete" and have targeted Arizona and the state's new policy against illegal immigration. Check out the trailer below.

Plot: The feature version of the trailer finds Machete (Danny Trejo), a renegade former Mexican Federale, roaming the streets of Texas after a shakedown from drug lord Torrez (Steven Seagal). Reluctantly, Machete takes an offer from spin doctor Benz (Jeff Fahey) to assassinate McLaughlin (Robert De Niro) a corrupt Senator. Double crossed and on the run Machete braves the odds with the help of Luz (Michelle Rodriguez), a saucy taco slinger, Padre (Cheech Marin) his "holy" brother, and April (Lindsay Lohan) a socialite with a penchant for guns. All while being tracked by Sartana (Jessica Alba), a sexy ICE agent with a special interest in the blade slinger.

"Machete" is written and directed by Robert Rodriguez and is scheduled to hit theaters on September 3rd.

Trailer:

If you cannot see the player, click here.


Click here to read more about "Machete."

Source: AICN


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Displaying 74 comment(s) Profanity: Turn On
JonDrama writes:
on May 5th, 2010 at 6:28:13 PM

f*cking sweet
CyberpunkCentral writes:
on May 5th, 2010 at 6:29:01 PM

Looks like sh*t
Eli_1994 writes:
on May 5th, 2010 at 6:33:18 PM

My eyes just got raped from pure awesomeness
RepoMan20 writes:
on May 5th, 2010 at 6:34:17 PM

i mostly like it
masKritic writes:
on May 5th, 2010 at 6:35:19 PM

better than i thought
trailertrash writes:
on May 5th, 2010 at 6:36:11 PM

looks ok , think the Grindhouse Machete looked better though IMO
Eben1277 writes:
on May 5th, 2010 at 6:37:12 PM

f*ckin awesome
drshakalou writes:
on May 5th, 2010 at 6:38:35 PM

yes this will be better than deathproof and planet terror.
wonderBOY writes:
on May 5th, 2010 at 6:39:19 PM

really lindsay lohan is dressed up as a nun. looks cool except for f*cking michelle rodriguez
SpookyCupcakes writes:
on May 5th, 2010 at 6:45:01 PM

looks awesome
Salvador writes:
on May 5th, 2010 at 6:48:38 PM

Yeah!!!

Take that Jan Brewer!

Machete is fighting with US!
tidedsued writes:
on May 5th, 2010 at 6:56:50 PM

OH MI DIOOOOOO!!!
MACHETE RULES
Ranger writes:
on May 5th, 2010 at 7:01:58 PM

It has a Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill feel to it...

Like those movies or not... this one I won't miss.
pH0u57 writes:
on May 5th, 2010 at 7:03:10 PM

YES! YES! YES!
Ranger writes:
on May 5th, 2010 at 7:06:05 PM

Hey Lohan... if you want to tongue a gun, I got one right here. The ladies call it Mr. Magnum and it's holstered in my pants... Bitch!
Anonymous Alcoholic writes:
on May 5th, 2010 at 7:06:40 PM

"WE DIDN"T CROSS THE BORDER...THE BORDER CROSSED US!!!" LOL this is going to be a great movie experience.
Anonymous Alcoholic writes:
on May 5th, 2010 at 7:13:35 PM

First comment ever on Lindsay Lohan: I feel like every role she has ever taken (including Parent Trap) has been a complex series of metaphysical steps in the art of sublimity in order to be the first mainstream star to crossover into porn. (That was a mouthful(which is what Lindsay Lohan said after tonguing Ranger's gun))
Ranger writes:
on May 5th, 2010 at 7:20:38 PM

Flatterer!
Freudian_Nightmare writes:
on May 5th, 2010 at 7:24:43 PM

I believe Eli_1994 said it best.

However, if Danny Trejo gets more action with Alba and Michelle than what was shown, I'll be furious. That just won't be fair.

Lohan can lick my gun any time. But it's quite sensitive so it might go off in her face.

And Seagal is looking gooooood...
Anonymous Alcoholic writes:
on May 5th, 2010 at 7:28:24 PM

What I really want to know is when the first Lindsay Lohan sex tape comes out? That is probably the plot for the Ring 3D except viewers actually die, making it 4D. Charles Manson would be proud of her ingenuity.
Ranger writes:
on May 5th, 2010 at 7:44:41 PM

Lohan Sex tapes found:

http://www.adultshomevideo.com/video/d64561498777e93/ANIMAL-mini-HORSE-brutally-c*ms-inside-woman-

http://www.newsfilter.org/view_video.php?id=51032

lost_addict writes:
on May 5th, 2010 at 7:49:00 PM

looks ok but the fake trailer was way better...
Ranger writes:
on May 5th, 2010 at 7:51:09 PM

Better (url) yet: http://tinyurl.com/LohanInLove
KirkLazerus writes:
on May 5th, 2010 at 8:03:20 PM

Alba looks terrible acting wise, looks bad ass, Steven Seagal hahahahahah great.
trailertrash writes:
on May 5th, 2010 at 8:08:34 PM

is that lindsay playing My Little Pony
streetlawler writes:
on May 5th, 2010 at 8:17:47 PM

Did that say "introducing Don Johnson"?
PhantomCloneInX writes:
on May 5th, 2010 at 8:22:50 PM

So did they just cram newly shot footage into the old trailer? Cuz the scenes with Robert DeNiro, Jessica Alba, Lindsay Blowhan, and Michelle Rodriguez seem like a different film quality than the rest of the trailer....while the stuff featuring Danny Trejo and Jeff Fahey looked identical to the original trailer. Anyway, it still looks like a good time.
Ranger writes:
on May 5th, 2010 at 8:38:31 PM

Oh, I'll bet there was plenty of 'cramming' going on during this movie (off camera, in Seagal's trailer).
Ranger writes:
on May 5th, 2010 at 8:40:23 PM

And by 'trailer' I mean Lohan's mouth.
johnny_boy writes:
on May 5th, 2010 at 8:45:16 PM

So this is the movie that'll be her big comeback,huh?

Last time she heard comeback, she wiped it off her chin to give it back to Sam ronson
CCBlev writes:
on May 5th, 2010 at 8:48:35 PM

Nice! Love to see a Michelle Rodriguez/Jessica Alba love scene in 3D :). So while Steven Seagal was filming his big fight scene another sex slave was escaping.
Ranger writes:
on May 5th, 2010 at 8:48:44 PM

Last time Lohan heard comeback, her naked father got off her to wipe his d*ck on the drapes.
ezcritor writes:
on May 5th, 2010 at 9:21:37 PM

Machete have a Mac????
itīs good. The next must be this:

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xd77z8_where-is-my-dogy_sexy
Lowryder writes:
on May 5th, 2010 at 9:22:52 PM

does anyone else think that danny trejo could have been a good whiplash in iron man 2? i still think that mickey rourke is the best choice, but trejo might have been a good runner up for the part if rourke turned it down
johnny_boy writes:
on May 5th, 2010 at 9:25:08 PM

@ lowryder.... Whiplash is Russian, not mexican
johnny_boy writes:
on May 5th, 2010 at 9:27:39 PM

Also I feel that trejo wouldn't have made a good whiplash if they went the Mexican route. Not to mention a Mexican wouldn't be intelligent enough to create what he does in the film. He'd probaly make his whips and end up electricuting himself.
SofaKing writes:
on May 5th, 2010 at 10:04:27 PM

This looks bad ass, I love the cheesiness of these movies. Too many people give movies like this and Crank 2 a hard time for being stupid when its the whole point! Can't wait.
johnny_boy writes:
on May 5th, 2010 at 10:51:27 PM

This was a cool trailer had to watch it again. I forgot today was cinco de mayo. They picked the perfect day to release this, being that it's a movie with mexicans. Cinco de mayo, the cop out "holiday."
BrundleFly writes:
on May 5th, 2010 at 10:54:10 PM

Introducing Don Johnson? What?

I can't decide if this movie looks amazing or terrible.
DaveThePhotoGuy writes:
on May 5th, 2010 at 11:28:26 PM

I would rather have my d*ck beaten wafer thin by a steak tenderizer and stuck to the floor with a crouqet hoop then watch that peice of sh*t movie.

So Trejo, can us white people watch this movie or do I have to be Latino to understand it??

And how for f*cks sake is Alba getting work? She must deep throat as good as Channing Tatum.
Telly like it is writes:
on May 6th, 2010 at 12:14:29 AM

@Ranger. As soon as Lohan was done licking that gun in the trailer it was filled with rust! Her saliva is deadly!
masht7 writes:
on May 6th, 2010 at 12:36:33 AM

"They just f*cked with the wrong Mexican"

Take that Vinny!
VDODSON writes:
on May 6th, 2010 at 2:09:44 AM

Looks pretty damn good. Never been a fan of Trejo, but Rodriguez never dissapoints when he's not making kids movies. Planet Terror is greatly underappreciated.
Rodan writes:
on May 6th, 2010 at 2:22:59 AM

They need to show Machete and Hobo with a Shotgun back to back. That would be one hell of a day at the movies.
The Real Joker writes:
on May 6th, 2010 at 2:25:22 AM

wow.. Can i haz it now please?
Mudders writes:
on May 6th, 2010 at 2:32:41 AM

thats the hottest ive seen lohan in awhile...me want some poon!!
oh and the movie looked cool too.
lick my donut maker lindsey!!
encoreyourface writes:
on May 6th, 2010 at 3:01:23 AM

Rodan-lol hell yeah it would.
trailertrash writes:
on May 6th, 2010 at 3:04:26 AM

@dave- take it your not going to watch it then lol
trailertrash writes:
on May 6th, 2010 at 3:09:20 AM

If Alba is deep throating for work, i will employ her on minimum wage and benefits no problem !!
trailertrash writes:
on May 6th, 2010 at 3:12:26 AM

But Channing Tatum , he can f*ck off and live on the street...
encoreyourface writes:
on May 6th, 2010 at 3:47:31 AM

...and become hobo with a shotgun?
Projekt SHIN writes:
on May 6th, 2010 at 4:14:39 AM

"they just realized.... they just f*cked with the wrong mexican..."

was more then enough for me to realize that this movie is gonna be the product of a piece of sh*t... taking a sh*t...
DaveThePhotoGuy writes:
on May 6th, 2010 at 4:24:21 AM

@trailer- Is it that obvious lol

Alba is probly a good shag, she does hav a body for sin and a face you want to abuse (facialabuse style) but the woman can't act for sh*t, and everytime she is on the screen I want to punch her in the face.
trailertrash writes:
on May 6th, 2010 at 4:45:37 AM

@encore -lol, He'd be hobo with a spud gun !!

@dave- , she had better be a good bloody shag if I'm paying her minimum wage , she must wear her In to Blue outfits at all times !!
encoreyourface writes:
on May 6th, 2010 at 4:55:54 AM

re:spud gun-LOL!
japaninmotion writes:
on May 6th, 2010 at 7:13:35 AM

that looks awful
f*cking awesome
AYT BALL writes:
on May 6th, 2010 at 8:28:28 AM

off topic, but just got the Losers DVD rip, anyone seen it yet?
SACdaddy writes:
on May 6th, 2010 at 8:43:07 AM

LOL looks great! The timing on this film is perfect too, although I bet they don't release it Arizona. If they do, there will probably be police officers at the box office checking green cards and birth certificates with every ticket sold.
Stuntastic writes:
on May 6th, 2010 at 10:29:19 AM

Man, this sh*t looks horrible, but I'll check it out when it comes to Redbox
johnthemon writes:
on May 6th, 2010 at 10:54:32 AM

wow. Just wow. So awesomely bad!! Can't wait
TRUEMAN writes:
on May 6th, 2010 at 11:37:42 AM

i see iron man 2 before you!! hahahahaha

Spolier ahead: the final fight ironman, warmachine vs whiplash (fully armored) sucks, it was very short confusing and very slow and them whem whiplash try to explote all the hammer androids and iron fly like superman to save peperpots was a ridiculus scene what a sh*thole movie antoher crap movie from holly crap!
Ranger writes:
on May 6th, 2010 at 12:35:35 PM

Sigh... Trueman...

You really need to get yourself another man.
Max Rockatansky Junior writes:
on May 6th, 2010 at 12:47:22 PM

Lindsey Lohan in a nun's habit ?

Only if she's wearing a strapon with the cross and Jesus on it, using it to screw her agent the way he screwed her, saying " When you say, 'God!', it won't just be figuratively, you little bitch! "


Robert De Niro as a Texas Senator ? That's like Tony Soprano playing Rick Perry .... nah, never mind. Rick Perry IS Tony Soprano ... only without a brain or Pauley Walnuts.
thegambit72 writes:
on May 6th, 2010 at 2:31:31 PM

this is looks awesome, and some how they Michelle Rodriguez look more badass
Charlie9 writes:
on May 6th, 2010 at 4:13:08 PM

Danny Trejo + A List actors + half the cast of Lost. Hells yeah.
el-ray writes:
on May 6th, 2010 at 6:38:07 PM

I love the look of this movie, i think Rodriguez hit the nail on the head when he did Planet Terror classic Grindhouse stylee "Would you stop crying over f*cking spilt milk" it has everything from cheesy lines to bad acting and all that makes one entertaining B movie.

Also i gotta say that this might be a movie that Lohan actually fits in well with as she comes across a little rough round the edges IMO.

Not so sure about Alba though don't know if she looks the part.



@CyberpunkCentral its supposed to look sh*t exploitation films are of low quality in every sense.
Ranger writes:
on May 6th, 2010 at 9:20:55 PM

If Lohan straps on this:

http://tinyurl.com/LohansMember

and takes on Alba... I'll buy the DVD!
Mudders writes:
on May 7th, 2010 at 4:00:50 AM

@ ranger

thats a different way to accept christ into ure life hahaha
Ranger writes:
on May 7th, 2010 at 4:08:22 AM

LOLOLOLOL!
el-ray writes:
on May 7th, 2010 at 11:50:10 AM

@ranger Lohan:-Bless me father for i have sinned.
Father:- One big our father for you
Moose756 writes:
on May 7th, 2010 at 4:50:52 PM

f*ckin SWEEETTTTTTTT. Cant wait must see
Jensama writes:
on May 7th, 2010 at 5:46:29 PM

Haha... Is this a joke?
jigsaw23 writes:
on May 8th, 2010 at 3:19:33 AM

grindhouse trailer was better but some good cast except logag in her mouth
Ranger writes:
on May 8th, 2010 at 5:57:25 AM

@el-ray - doubt Lohan could confess with the Priest jamming his Godly member down her throat.

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