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Previous News Stories Next News Stories

What was Inside Lindsay Lohan's Safe?

Posted: August 27th, 2009 by WorstPreviews.com Staff
What was Inside Lindsay LohanSubmit Comment
A few days ago, we reported that intruders broke into Lindsay Lohan's house, taking watches, bags, shoes, jewelry and a safe that they ripped off a wall.

No arrests were made, but Lindsay's father believed that the break-in was "an inside job" since employees for his daughter had failed to turn on the house burglar alarm.

Lindsay now writes on her Twitter account: "I know it was not a robbery. electronics weren't taken... just things that a certain old friend knew meant a lot to me."

NY Mag says that the stolen safe contained "incriminating photos and videos" that could potentially "cause embarrassment if made public."

Any idea what's inside the safe? Sounds like a sex tape to me.

Source: NY Mag, Twitter


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Displaying 72 comment(s) Profanity: Turn On
minkowski writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 5:48:10 AM

"Any idea what's inside the safe? Sounds like a sex tape to me. "

Buwahahaha! Alex, you're a diabolical dude!
minkowski writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 6:15:26 AM

"I know it was not a robbery. electronics weren't taken... just things that a certain old friend knew meant a lot to me."

Crack cocaine? A pickle jar containing the leftovers from her sex change? A 12 inch banana-flavored dildo with notches carved in the side? Her hymen?
RickyGabrielBird writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 6:17:21 AM

Her STD clinic reward points card?
Ranger writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 6:18:06 AM

This 'lady' (ugh!) has made a career of everything else OTHER than her 'career'.

Alarm left off.

"incriminating photos and videos" that could potentially "cause embarrassment if made public." f*ck Lohan, like any of those pictures or video getting released could cause her more embarrassment than any movie role she's ever played.

She has no talent, and she's grabbing at straws already and staging sh*t like this already. It's lame and pathetic.

Oh... and she's a c*nt.
The Skippy Spartan writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 6:23:58 AM

Can someone answer this question?
What is it with peopel who find incrimidating photos of themselves or information of themselves, and instead of f*cking burning them, they lock it up in a bank or safe????
Ranger writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 6:27:48 AM

Or in a safe that can be torn out of a wall (not if I put it in, I can guarantee you that), in a house with the alarm left off, with those that know it's in the safe.

Lohan... my sh*t has more brains than you!
Ranger writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 6:28:56 AM

This is all so staged, for she just to keep in the media (because her career sure as hell isn't doing it for her). Well... she'll be off to more house parties this weekend I'm sure, grabbing more of those free gift bags.

What a slag!
minkowski writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 6:32:24 AM

All I can hope is that the pictures and videos make their way tot he internet. One more nail in her Draculaesque coffin of a career.
Ranger writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 6:35:12 AM

Hollywood is so stupid Mink... it's probably the boost she needs to ignite some interest in her.

This is actually so obvious on her part, it's desperate.

She really pulled a Lohan this time.
RickyGabrielBird writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 6:38:46 AM

I agree with Ranger. Maybe this was set up. Maybe she robbed herself!

I'm waiting for the OK/Hello magazine shots of her next to her empty safe and promoting 'I Know Who Killed Me 2'.
minkowski writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 6:39:21 AM

Interest? The CDC is interested in her. They want to know just how the f*ck somone can have that many genital warts and still walk.
Ranger writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 7:04:44 AM

@Mink - 'Crack cocaine? A pickle jar containing the leftovers from her sex change? A 12 inch banana-flavored dildo with notches carved in the side? Her hymen?'

Lol... priceless!
Hitodama writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 7:12:08 AM

Oh gawd! You guys are hilarious!
minkowski writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 7:13:52 AM

No, this is priceless:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5864097001633806354
johnny_boy writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 7:14:46 AM

i say something that was in the safe must've been either a video or even pics of her f*cking and sucking robert rodriguez. how else did she get a role in Machete?
Ranger writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 7:15:54 AM

I didn't know Bob liked the strap-on treatment.
minkowski writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 7:21:22 AM

"i say something that was in the safe must've been either a video or even pics of her f*cking and sucking robert rodriguez. how else did she get a role in Machete?"

Robert Rodriquez has a little of Jack the Ripper in him. He believes all whores are dirty and they must die.
johnny_boy writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 7:25:43 AM

then she mite die by "accident" by....lets say a machete.
lawman writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 8:19:24 AM

I think they broke in as a gang initiation. The new gang member had to watch her sleep for a count of 30 seconds to be a member. The catch, no blinking, looking away, gagging, vomiting, or explosive diarhea!
scarface85 writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 9:11:53 AM

@minkowski: lmaoooooooooo
Bob82 writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 9:44:26 AM

When I read the headline, I thought to myself "not movie news exactly, just an article for minkowski and Ranger to feast on", so bon appétit, guys! ;D

By the way, I hope it is a sex tape...
NatG83 writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 10:07:32 AM

I have this odd feeling that one of the videos will be a sobbing "take me back" to Samantha Ronson.

The incriminating photos will be of Lohan and Steven Segal.
Lowryder writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 11:15:27 AM

yea it was probably a lesbian sex tape with her girlfriend or a video of her hitting up dat bong lol
lost_addict writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 12:15:55 PM

What was Inside Lindsay Lohan's Safe?

sex video of ranger and mink dp her...
SACdaddy writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 12:48:51 PM

This story keeps getting better and better every day! I'll never understand you guys' hate for Lindsay, but then again I'm kind of attracted to rich, coked out, slutty white bitches with huge loose vaginas(it helps with my big d*ck situation). And this princess has got it all baby!!! Keep hatin though *ssholes, it won't deter this She Devil. She'll keep workin hard to bring us the top quality arrest reports, rehab stints, staged break-ins, and sloppy vaginas we've come to love from The Lohan. Keep up the good work baby!
rocketman writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 12:55:18 PM

game on
rocketman writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 12:56:41 PM

and slutty/loose whatever as she is...i bet shes a cracking shag
Ranger writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 1:27:49 PM

Her bed sheets gave me a rash even before we tapped that!
Lindsay Lohan writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 1:38:52 PM

Ranger and others, you are stupid faggots!!! My vag not be loose, it be tight like Samantha's throat. I'm not a c*nt, Ranger!!! You a c*nt!!! Mink, you stupid f*ck, its chocolate flavored, *sshole!!! Oh, and Seagal is great in the sack, buttf*cks!!! His fat d*ck tastes like Lysol and pube-sweat!!!!!!! It's crazy delicious! They don't call him the "Redecorator" for nothing! Hell, crusty chunks of c*m are still in my hair. Excuse me while I inject heroin into my swollen vag!!!!!!! Yes, my vag hasn't felt this good since my dad and a couple of his friends fit 6 d*cks in my c*nt!!!!! Screw all of you!!!! God, I need to puke out some c*m.
SpookyCupcakes writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 1:42:51 PM

"Any idea what's inside the safe? Sounds like a sex tape to me."

*shudders*
Ranger writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 1:50:08 PM

Sorry Lindsay. We have been a lot harsh on you m'dear.

But when I pulled my d*ck out of your ass... it had WORMS on it. I mean... how... HOW can you explain THAT?!

All my love.
XO (gag)
XO (spit)
XO (f*cking vomit!)

Later Gator (crotch)!
Osiris3eagle writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 1:51:04 PM

It couldn't be more obvious that it's a sex tape. Why are celebrities stupid enough to film themselves having sex? It's virtually guaranteed to make itself to the internet.
Lindsay Lohan writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 1:58:12 PM

Ranger, I thought you liked my worms? You even ate some worms out my moldy *sshole! You dumb bitch!!! Your d*ck is the size of have a pack of Tums!!!!!!! I swollowed your c*m, I thought that meant something to you. And don't forget that you gave me crabs!!!!!!!!!! I'm not goin' to eat out your *sshole anymore! It tasted like Ted Kennedy's, and I just ate his dead *sshole out. Still crazy delicious, even the maggots!!!!! My balls, y'all!!!!!!!!!!!!
lostwarrior writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 2:03:30 PM

%^^^^ f*cking disturbing lol....
Ranger writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 2:06:11 PM

OK Lindsay ENOUGH!

I'M GETTING AROUSED OVER HERE!!!!

Your worms! My crabs! Minks lice!

U f*cking skanky, smelly, slutty whore!

I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Scrooge McDuck writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 2:28:00 PM

So, let me get this straight...

The safe is her vagina?

Must be a pretty easy combo. ZING
thedudeman69 writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 2:39:20 PM

what's hilarous is she has made enough money to actually KEEP things in a safe.
Space_Ghost11 writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 2:57:57 PM

what you didnt get to see/read on her Twitter was, "YOU TELL DIAGO I'LL HAVE HIS MONEY BY FRIDAY AND WE CAN MAKE AN EXHANGE FOR MY PRADA BAGS & DILDOS"
Space_Ghost11 writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 2:59:38 PM

totally bet it was a sex tape & 30 lbs of blow & pictures of her doing the blow and pictures of her blowing dudes. c*m covered bags of weed & coke! ahahaha!!!
Ranger writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 3:02:44 PM

I don't know why she'd videotape that. It's just another typical day in her life.
Lindsay Lohan writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 3:32:10 PM

Space_Ghost, you are a d*ck!!!!!!!! f*ck you, stupid cow!!!!!! The sex tape is actually of me raping your father's quivering *sshole with the Annihilator (my favorite strap-on). Seeing the tears smudge his mascara was priceless. Oh, and your dad also wanted to be in a diaper and have me spank him. Samantha helped me to double-fist your mom's sagging *sshole. Seriously, sh*t just leaked out of there, she had no control over that thing. Crazy delicious, bitches!!!!!!!
Ranger writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 3:34:45 PM

lol...

Crazed, crack whore!

Lindsay Lohan writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 3:44:59 PM

I want you inside me, Ranger. I want your thick d*ck to scape the maggots off the sides of my saggy vag, baby. I want you to c*m inside me, then eat it out, c*m, maggots, severed fingers and all, Mr. Big. Let me lick your ample taint!!!!! You taint be crazy delicious, bitch!!!!!!! Oh, and tell that Mink fellow to bring over some ranch dressing and ferrets.
Ranger writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 3:50:45 PM

Ample taint?!

Now I'm sorry I picked 'Ranger' for a profile name!
SACdaddy writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 4:03:42 PM

This whole thing sounds like the sequel to The Bank Job. You know these burglars just came for the loads of drugs in the safe. When they realized that they had also stolen an 8mm Shizer film starring Lohan's vag, the Governator, and some guy in a Gimp suit, they got more than they bargained for.
Ranger writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 4:32:25 PM

A skin rash from touching her stuff?
Blueyedragon writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 4:32:30 PM

It was probably a strap-on dildo that was used on her countless times!....Or her brain!
Adamtheflash writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 4:40:04 PM

Narnia
Lindsay Lohan writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 5:22:12 PM

Narnia? Yeah, I f*cked Aslan. I strap-oned him until he wept like the bitch he is. Lord of Narnia my ass!!!! I was lord of his *sshole! Samantha and I then proceeded to piss in his eyesockets (since we smashed his eyeballs out with our Annihilators (greatest strap-on ever)). Oh, I also raped your father also, Adamtheflash. He has a microscopic d*ck. Seriously, it was like sucking on a salty jolly rancher. Crazy Delicious!!!!!
Ranger writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 6:24:50 PM

lol... priceless!
Makidian writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 6:59:52 PM

If that's the case she should have destroyed that sh*t instead of keeping it around to make the public think even worse of her.
FBO writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 7:10:47 PM

Her safe? Isn't that where she left her sanity and dignity?
Ranger writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 7:11:02 PM

'...to make the public think even worse of her.'

I think that ship has sailed my friend.
Ranger writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 7:11:38 PM

@FBO - where it sure as hell isn't where she secured her talent or career!
japaninmotion writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 7:25:48 PM

"Sex tape"? Sounds like a career builder
duff4444 writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 7:51:18 PM

Her face looks like satan sh*t and puked out Hitler's bloody moustache after hammering his own d*ck with a hammer. But it's worse than that because she might now have a sex tape, and I'll have to see it and then I will go blind in all 3 of my eyes. Brown eye included. God she's worse than a triple case of herpes topped with a raging case of porcupine AIDS for dessert.
Rarehunter writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 9:03:04 PM

I bet it was some crack pipes and crack
BigUnit writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 9:08:19 PM

SCANDALOUS!
KirkLazerus writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 11:43:15 PM

im going to say half of her brain , 1 copy of I know who killed me and a jar of all the semen she ingested, my bad i mean a barrel
Ranger writes:
on August 27th, 2009 at 11:53:34 PM

Which she drains out of herself via I.V. nightly.
vwkombi writes:
on August 28th, 2009 at 12:37:56 AM

We all know what is inside Lindsay Lohan, i very much doubt though it's safe.
Ranger writes:
on August 28th, 2009 at 12:38:59 AM

Ba-rump-bump!

Nice one VW!
lost_addict writes:
on August 28th, 2009 at 1:44:00 AM

every single man on this board would f*ck her instantly if she showed up naked at his room.
BlueJulias writes:
on August 28th, 2009 at 2:00:07 AM

Can't wait for the tape to hit the internet. Honestly I haven't been attracted to her since that GQ cover forever ago, you know-before the coke binges- but I'd still like to see her taking it. I'm with lost_addict, anyone here would hit that instantly if it was offered. I'd wrap my junk in that industrial grade plastic-wrap they use in warehouses first, but I'd still slap that red-headed booty around! Still, I wasn't impressed with the Marilyn Monroe homage nude shots she did. Did anyone else?
BlueJulias writes:
on August 28th, 2009 at 2:01:37 AM

*correction* "Was" anyone else?
Ranger writes:
on August 28th, 2009 at 2:46:16 AM

@lost_addict - oh... giving her the paddle-ball treatment is a given.

As I've posted on here many times before... if not for the only reason other than to have the story to tell the buds at Pub/Poke-her night.

I'd slam that like a barn door!

I'd whip her like a rented mule!

I'd spank that like a circus monkey!

But it would be more like 'revenge sex' for the inset of Herpes that would surely follow.
skatemaster62 writes:
on August 28th, 2009 at 3:28:59 AM

Ranger knew it she a slut!!! Haha
skatemaster62 writes:
on August 28th, 2009 at 3:43:18 AM

Jeez I hope its not a sex tape, cause seriously who wants to see her cutch.....all plugged up with std's and warts. With our luck it will be in high deff. Come on come all and see the girl-beast with over a hundred std's and amazingly and still walk
Ranger writes:
on August 28th, 2009 at 5:19:59 AM

She walks!

She talks!

She crawls on her belly like a reptile!

Take it all in as you watch Lindsay take it all in!
KirkLazerus writes:
on August 29th, 2009 at 2:17:51 PM

she could take a lot in
Ranger writes:
on August 30th, 2009 at 10:30:47 PM

I know.

I had to strap a 2x4 to my ass so I wouldn't fall in!
KirkLazerus writes:
on August 31st, 2009 at 1:06:58 PM

hahahahahahaha

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