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Previous News Stories Next News Stories

Lindsay Lohan's House Broken Into Again

Posted: August 24th, 2009 by WorstPreviews.com Staff
Lindsay LohanSubmit Comment
Back in May, intruders attempted to gain entry into Lindsay Lohan's house, but were scared off by the alarm before they had the chance to take anything. When police officers arrived on the scene, they assumed that the house had been ransacked, but later determined that the place was just messy.

Now, Reuters is reporting that the police had to head back to Lohan's house to investigate another burglary. The actress wasn't home at the time of the break-in, but when she got in at 3am, she immediately called her father, who contacted the police.

Michael Lohan said that a safe was ripped off a wall and that watches, bags, shoes and jewelry were taken. He believes the theft was "an inside job" because employees for his daughter had failed to turn on the house burglar alarm.

No arrests have been made, but police is currently in possession of the surveillance footage that shows three men breaking into Lohan's house. Lohan, meanwhile, is planning to move to a safer place.

Source: Reuters


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Displaying 70 comment(s) Profanity: Turn On
SpookyCupcakes writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 1:36:43 AM

To quote:

"Linday's house is getting more action these days than her crotch is."
acslaterson writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 1:48:24 AM

How does a safe get ripped off the wall? Hahaha, you need to call Ari Gold's security guy(tonight's episode of Entourage reference).
minkowski writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 1:48:56 AM

Jesus. It's easier to break into her box than her house.

She should just put a picture of her twat on the door, like they used to paint a red cross on the doors of the dying during the Black Death.

"No arrests have been made, but police is [sic] currently in possession of the surveillance footage that shows three men breaking into Lohan's house"

So, now even her HOUSE is getting gangbanged?

"He believes the theft was "an inside job"

Lohan's no stranger to 'inside jobs' if you know what I mean.
SpookyCupcakes writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 1:55:20 AM

Mink, when and where do you perform your stand up?
minkowski writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 1:59:51 AM

'Stand up'?

Not when looking at Lindsey Lohan's face, that's for sure.
TGDirector writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 2:14:46 AM

She probably left the door wide open that dumb bitch. lol
skatemaster62 writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 2:20:19 AM

Ok! I think this bitch is just doing this for the insurance money. What's wrong lohan not sucking enough c*ck for acting jobs?
minkowski writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 2:21:05 AM

Well, when a 'door' like hers has had so many damned visitors, so much traffic, it's hard to make the damned thing stay shut.
minkowski writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 2:22:25 AM

"What's wrong lohan not sucking enough c*ck for acting jobs?"

She's either sucked them all, or she's not that good. Or both. That's my guess.
SpookyCupcakes writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 2:25:07 AM

If you've sucked THAT many, you're bound to have some skill.
skatemaster62 writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 2:25:30 AM

@mink haha I say both my friend, her acting is about as decent as Micheal Jacksons face right before he died
minkowski writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 2:26:57 AM

Sucking repeatedly hasn't made Paul W. S. Anderson any better.
skatemaster62 writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 2:28:56 AM

Maybe she should turn to porn, but then again who really wants to see a hotdog thrown down a hallway?
SpookyCupcakes writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 2:30:29 AM

Mink, Im gonna have a f*cking nosebleed if I don't stop laughing so hard at your jokes
minkowski writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 2:32:10 AM

"her acting is about as decent as Micheal Jacksons face right before he died"

Yeah, but both Jackson AND the public got some relief when he died. Lohan's still breathing.
minkowski writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 2:35:15 AM

"but then again who really wants to see a hotdog thrown down a hallway? "

The only animal on the planet that'll both f*ck her AND fetch the hotdog. Starving dogs.
skatemaster62 writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 2:36:53 AM

Haha mink. I'm waiting for ranger to see this one he'll have a field day with this haha
minkowski writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 2:38:33 AM

And you KNOW Alex posted this just so we could have a field day. Good job Alex! It's like he's rewarding us for following the rules. You rock dude.
skatemaster62 writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 2:40:11 AM

Haha yep
DoucheNozzle writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 3:14:41 AM

Okay, Ranger, next time figure when she will be there for sure before you try to break in. Oh, and you will need more than two other guys to try and slay her, for many have perished trying to slay the soggy Lohan flesh tunnel. Whenever she fears she is in danger, she opens her excuses for legs and lets the sagging beast flop onto the floor where it releases a stench as foul as John Goodman's bathroom after eating Mexican. They try to run from it in cowardice, yet the festering cavern of decaying flesh sucks all who wish to kill it within itself, to be lost in the moldy void from which they shan't ever escape. Beware the twat of the Lohan, Ranger! Beware!!!!!!!
Ranger writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 3:30:00 AM

@TG - 'She probably left the door wide open that dumb bitch. lol' If by that you mean her legs... well, that's why the guys went after the safe in the wall... it was... safe(r).
Ranger writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 3:34:07 AM

Rumor has it Travolta hangers one of his 737's in her crotch!

As for going for insurance money. If that isn't clear enough... she's been attending house and beach parties where celeb's get THOUSANDS of $'s in FREE grab bags. She sucks back a coke (err... I mean she drinks a coke), smells up the party with her cigs, then makes off with a FREE grab bag.

Speak of which... When was the last time that skank took a break from licking canoe to actually grab some guy's bag?!

Ranger writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 3:36:48 AM

If you put your ear up to her crotch... it sounds like a toilet flushing.

It's pretty kewl... but you'll lose your ear.

We call her Bermuda Triangle: Van Gag!

Instead of insurance fraud... she could cast her tits as stunt-doubles for some HillBilly's mudflaps on his pick-up!
Ranger writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 3:47:34 AM

Who the f*ck would steal shoes?! Sure... eBay them! 4 Sale - Lohan's stolen shoes!

Sure it's an inside job. Who wouldn't want Lohan's shoes?!?!

@Mink - 'She should just put a picture of her twat on the door, like they used to paint a red cross on the doors of the dying during the Black Death.'

Lol. That's some of your best work right there my friend!
minkowski writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 3:58:29 AM

Thanks, Ranger.
RickyGabrielBird writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 5:23:54 AM

My money is on Ranger doing this. He has been on here alot less lately :D
padfootbob writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 6:16:36 AM

What's crazy is that she probably would've been gangraped out of her mind if she was home at the time.
minkowski writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 6:39:21 AM

Lindsay Lohan going out of her mind during a gangrape is like me going insane while eating a bowl of cereal.
minkowski writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 7:56:50 AM

Why do they keep breaking into her house? What the f*ck are they looking for? And why Lindsay Lohan's house?

I think these guys are really Indiana Jones types. You know, archaeologists. But they've become seriously confused. Intead of searching for the Holy Grail, the Ark of the Covenant or aliens, they seem to be in search of another mythical, legendary and equally non-existent item of lore: Lohan's acting talent, the Holy Fail. Or her virginity, you know, the Mark of Abstinence.

Stupid rancid c*nt. And then there's Lohan herself.
minkowski writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 8:20:21 AM

The UnHoly fail, I mean.
Space_Ghost11 writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 10:44:39 AM

when the intruders were caught it was found they had taken 12 crack pipes/2 lbs of cocaine/30 dildos and the first 2 seasons of "The L Word"
Hitodama writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 10:52:06 AM

Definitely posted on purpose LOL. Ranger and Mink are srsly funny. Thanks guys, I lol'd hard. Just out of curiosity...do you guys share the same disdain for that sinuous degenerate Megan Fox?
minkowski writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 11:01:50 AM

"when the intruders were caught it was found they had taken 12 crack pipes/2 lbs of cocaine/30 dildos and the first 2 seasons of "The L Word""

..and a bad rash later determined to be a new strain of herpes.
lost_addict writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 11:40:53 AM

YOU DON'T MESS WITH THE LOHAN!!!
RickyGabrielBird writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 11:42:11 AM

'Back in May, intruders attempted to gain entry into Lindsay Lohan's crouch, but were scared off by the alarm before they had the chance to take anything. When police officers arrived on the scene, they assumed that the crouch had been ransacked, but later determined that the place was just messy.'

All you have to do is replace the word house with crouch in the 1st paragraph and it works just as well.
SpookyCupcakes writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 12:08:34 PM

LOL @ Ricky,

NICE WORK!!
Ranger writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 12:12:40 PM

And inside job, because her assistants 'forgot to turn on the alarm.' And now Lohan wants to move to a safer place. How about Lohan take an hour out of her busy grab bag grabbing day to hire staff that care more about doing their job correctly and know how to activate an alarm?!

Lindsay... you're a lazy, dumb, talentless, crotch-critter ridden twat!
SpookyCupcakes writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 12:16:25 PM

Her and Alba will ruin 'Machete'.

Lohan sucks (pun intended), and Alba blows (pun also intended).

She ruins every movie she's in. I haven't seen one good movie with Jessica Alba in it.
SpookyCupcakes writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 12:16:48 PM

unless there were some pornos that I weren't aware of.
ACTIONFIGURE writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 12:24:30 PM

I thought she didn't have a house anymore...So, how does one do a B and E action on a cardboard box??
Ranger writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 12:26:20 PM

At least Alba has a body I don't mind looking at. And her 'no-spill' lips are to die for.

Lohan probably smells like the east river at low tide. She's let herself go terribly... and well... is just a skank.

Saw on a show the other day... she shopping in a NY store. They closed the store for her privately. She was in it for 4 hours, and ordered pizza for everyone.

Lindsay... save your $'s m'dear. It's a short ride!
synthetic1985 writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 12:35:55 PM

the dumb thing is that lohan is not worth robbing.....so those robbers are beyond retarded....really sad
synthetic1985 writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 12:40:21 PM

aside from that.....she still manages to keep a house messy...and make it a big deal when she returns at 3 a.m....well whatever
Rarehunter writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 12:51:34 PM

shes most likely smoking crack with these guys and when they leave they steal her sh*t
SpookyCupcakes writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 1:06:44 PM

Rarehunter has developed a theory worth investigating! Bravo!
Ranger writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 1:08:04 PM

I suspect Rarehunter is probably not that far from the truth.
Ranger writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 1:09:18 PM

@Space_Ghost11 - lol... 'The L Word' was a nice touch buddy!
RickyGabrielBird writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 2:53:52 PM

Cheers Spook.

Although crouch = crotch.

What a knob I am...
Pepeman writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 3:02:27 PM

Mink,

You seem to have this huge hatred towards Lohan, i mean, you even talk about her when topic isn't about her. Why the hate ? Can you remember the turning point when you started to her guts ? What happend, let us in, share.
Ranger writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 3:07:34 PM

I can't speak for Mink, but I'm pretty sure it was the night he and I tagged-teamed her and she gave us the:

Crabs/Herpes/Clap/HIV-crotch 'o Death Sentence!

We had shared some tequila shots with Lindsay... thought she was a woman...

Worst mistake of our lives... sniffle...
mattcl23 writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 4:19:35 PM

She probably stole it herself but was to high to realize it and the three men breaking into her house were only there for the gang bang.
c-prime writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 4:31:06 PM

Jesus H., Ranger, you take storytelling to a whole new level. Ha ha. A "crotch of death sentence." Priceless.
RickyGabrielBird writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 4:32:51 PM

Bored by their wild partying lifestyle Paris Hilton & Lindsay Lohan have turned into nuns.

One day Paris Hilton & Lindsay Lohan were in back of the convent smoking cigarettes, when one said,”It’s bad enough that we have to sneak out here to smoke,but it really is a problem getting rid of the cigarette butts so Mother Superior doesn’t find them.”

Paris said, “I’ve found a marvelous invention called the condom, which really solves this problem. You just open the packet up, take out the condom, and put the cigarette butt in, roll it up, and dispose of it all later!”

Lindsay Lohan was quite impressed and asked where she could find them.

“You get them at the drug store, sister, just go and ask the pharmacist for them.” The next day Lindsay Lohan went to the drug store and walked up to the counter. “Good morning, sister,” said the pharmacist.

“What can I do for you today?”

“I’d like some condoms, please,” said Lindsay Lohan. The pharmacist was a little taken aback, but recovered soon enough and asked,

“How many boxes would you like? There are twelve to a box.”

“I’ll take six boxes - that should last about a week,” she replied.

The pharmacist was truly flabbergasted by this time, and was almost afraid to ask any more questions,

but his professionalism prevailed and he asked in a clear voice, “Sister, what size condoms would you like - we have large, extra large, and big liar size.”

Lindsay Lohan thought for a minute, and finally said, “I’m not certain, perhaps you could recommend a good size for a Camel.”
MoneyHayabusa writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 5:08:03 PM

Ranger

"Lohan probably smells like the east river at low tide."

WHOOO BABY!!

When she's done ass-to-assing that aluminum bat she can labia kiss her front door and use that sh*t for security instead. Maybe f*ck the doorknob just long enough to leave a small globule of secretion behind... Not even death would knock at that door.
MoneyHayabusa writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 5:08:42 PM

@RGB HAHAHA I thought it might not be worth reading all that but it was.
Ranger writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 6:05:58 PM

God Bless Lohan for these posts (and for showing us that ANYone can make it in Hollywood)!
griffinkane writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 6:22:56 PM

Lindsay probably got so drunk and high the night before that she broke into her own house. Only to think that someone else broke in because she couldn't remember.
lostwarrior writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 6:26:22 PM

and they were infected with the herp, as they entered thru the back door... and a safer place bitch how about a cemetary...
Ranger writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 6:29:37 PM

'how about a cemetary... '

Damn LW... LOL... that's hysterical!!!
geek is good writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 6:47:28 PM

u ppl are hilarious
OneTime writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 7:09:46 PM

i jsut wanna party with lohan and whinehouse...jsut for a weekend..
Ranger writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 7:13:17 PM

Ii wonder if her name will ever become the norm for such expressions covering:

1.Depression. "Oh... I'm ok...just feeling a bit Lohan today, thx. for asking."

2. When you f*ck up! "Man... you should pulled a Lohan on that one!"

3. Abortion via shop-vac. "You gave your girlfriend a Lohan?!"

4. When a dead body is found rotting in a residence and it's decay is being accelerated from the infestation of insects feeding from it within and the smell is enough to actually make you vomit: "f*ck me! That's the worst case of Lohan I have ever experienced!!!"

5. Unidentifiable STD (or combination of known STD's): "Hey Ted... why are you wearing a Depends - Adult undergarment?" Ted: "Oh... because I went to Thailand... nailed me some 12 year old hookers that I'm pretty sure were female and caught me a back case of The Lohan! The diaper is because I've been scratching so hard from the f*cking itch... I'm bleeding!"

Etc.

Ranger writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 7:15:58 PM

And NOW... REMASTERED (without the spelling, f*cking errors!):

I wonder if her name will ever become the norm for such expressions as:

1.Depression. "Oh... I'm ok...just feeling a bit Lohan today, thx. for asking."

2. When you f*ck up! "Man... you sure pulled a Lohan on that one!"

3. Abortion via shop-vac. "You gave your girlfriend a Lohan?!"

4. When a dead body is found rotting in a residence and its decay is being accelerated from the infestation of insects feeding from it within and the smell is enough to actually make you vomit: "f*ck me! That's the worst case of Lohan I have ever experienced!!!"

5. Unidentifiable STD (or combination of known STD's): "Hey Ted... why are you wearing a Depends - Adult undergarment?" Ted: "Oh... because I went to Thailand... nailed me some 12 year old hookers that I'm pretty sure were female and caught me a bad case of The Lohan! The diaper is because I've been scratching so hard from the f*cking itch... I'm bleeding!"

Etc.
StrongR3tard writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 8:14:44 PM

hahaha, holy f*ck
Ranger writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 9:21:38 PM

Actually, 'Unholy f*ck!' was to be #6!
MYVAGHURTZ writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 9:45:36 PM

Off topic but there is nothing more nerve wrecking than having a case of the itchy d*ck or lohan for ranger a few days after having sex. Never mind, were talking about Lohan....just hearing her name puts you at a higher risk for crotch rot.
SpookyCupcakes writes:
on August 24th, 2009 at 11:23:28 PM

Thanks for the story, Alex!

Now if we could just get a story about Lohan promoting 3-D tv's and Avatar, then that could possible be the largest comment section in WP history!
blinkbomber writes:
on August 25th, 2009 at 12:53:01 AM

"Sucking repeatedly hasn't made Paul W. S. Anderson any better."

lol, that is prolly my fave quote of the day, maybe week... maybe...
Hitodama writes:
on August 25th, 2009 at 9:11:05 AM

I concur.
seveltoto writes:
on November 12th, 2017 at 12:41:12 AM


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