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First Look: Jessica Alba and Steven Seagal in "Machete"

Posted: August 21st, 2009 by WorstPreviews.com Staff
First Look: Jessica Alba and Steven Seagal in "Machete"Submit Comment
We recently showed you photos of Lindsay Lohan shooting scenes in a pool for the upcoming "Machete" film, which is based on Robert Rodriguez's faux "Grindhouse" trailer.

Today, we have shots of Jessica Alba, Steven Seagal, Michelle Rodriguez and Danny Trejo filming. Trejo is obviously shirtless and Seagal is helping Alba get down from the hood of a car. Check out the photos below.

Plot: The feature version of the trailer finds Machete (Trejo) a renegade former Mexican Federale, roaming the streets of Texas after a shakedown from drug lord Torrez (Seagal). Reluctantly, Machete takes an offer from spin doctor Benz (Jeff Fahey) to assassinate McLaughlin (Robert De Niro) a corrupt Senator. Double crossed and on the run Machete braves the odds with the help of Luz (Rodriguez), a saucy taco slinger, Padre (Marin) his "holy" brother, and April (Lohan) a socialite with a penchant for guns. All while being tracked by Sartana (Alba), a sexy ICE agent with a special interest in the blade slinger.

Photos: (click to enlarge)














Source: Phun


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Displaying 48 comment(s) Profanity: Turn On
darkknight1985 writes:
on August 21st, 2009 at 8:17:05 AM

Trejo is looking good at 65.
SeWerin writes:
on August 21st, 2009 at 8:37:09 AM

where is your ponytail seagal?!
Charlie9 writes:
on August 21st, 2009 at 8:55:46 AM

Trejo doesn't age... Seagal does.
Hitodama writes:
on August 21st, 2009 at 9:19:59 AM

Awww, yeah!
The Skippy Spartan writes:
on August 21st, 2009 at 9:29:15 AM

Thats because Trejo is king!
lost_addict writes:
on August 21st, 2009 at 9:54:30 AM

alba,watch out hungry steven doesn't eat you and put you in his belly...
Eben1277 writes:
on August 21st, 2009 at 10:07:29 AM

Why Steven, Why???? Put down the f*ckin canoli man. You made some of the best action films ever, and you even trimmed up for Exit Wounds, how are you gonna let yourself fall apart like this???
scarface85 writes:
on August 21st, 2009 at 10:26:51 AM

trejo is the best!
NatG83 writes:
on August 21st, 2009 at 10:29:31 AM

Segal looks stiff...well, stiffer than usual. That seen is gonna be dull. Neither Segal nor Alba are know for academy award performances.
mdp711 writes:
on August 21st, 2009 at 10:56:05 AM

Segal is a fat pig.

Trejo is the man.

Alba, shut up and suck it....
Bob82 writes:
on August 21st, 2009 at 11:01:26 AM

Hehehe, Seagal looks stiff and bloated, but I think it will help in this movie, just his appearence and his voice, like a special performance. I don't think his character will end up fighting and breaking everyone's arms or legs.
SpookyCupcakes writes:
on August 21st, 2009 at 11:18:06 AM

That was fast.
ACTIONFIGURE writes:
on August 21st, 2009 at 11:36:23 AM

Don't drug lords sample their own product?? Isn't that way they are always so skinny?? Now look at Seagal's ass...I don't find this at all beliveable. and M.R. is f*ckin' smoking!!
Ranger writes:
on August 21st, 2009 at 11:41:07 AM

'...and Seagal is helping Alba get down from the hood of a car.' -- or more commonly known as: forcing her to blow him.
Blank x2 writes:
on August 21st, 2009 at 11:47:25 AM

@Ranger - If that's the case, we have the first doc*mented occasion of Seagal doing something cool. He still runs like a girl, though.
lawman writes:
on August 21st, 2009 at 12:13:51 PM

I would sleep in the bathroom for a week just to smell one of Albas farts!! She is so hot. Segal, I am truley sorry. I loved your movies for many many years, and can not turn one off, even if on today. However, you are now only a master of cookie dough. Shame on your for trading your highly tuned, death dealing physique for that of a bloated, apparently consitpated, shaman! You look like the fat, sunglass wearing cenobyte from hellraiser!!!!
Ranger writes:
on August 21st, 2009 at 12:16:12 PM

@Blank - LOL!
DoucheNozzle writes:
on August 21st, 2009 at 1:12:35 PM

Wow, Trejo still looks like he kicks ass and takes names. Trejo is so manly that every woman within a 69 foot radius of him gets instantly pregnant. Trejo is so badass that when he stares at helicopters, they explode. But really, Trejo looks so damn cool in those pics! If this even comes close to the explotation film glory of Crank 2, my ass will be in the theatre opening day.
Ari Gold writes:
on August 21st, 2009 at 2:00:35 PM

I like Rodriguez! What the f*ck is an ICE agent? Seagal has let himself go proper.. He looks a mess!

I reckon a spin-off to Johnny Depp's character in 'Once Upon A Time In Mexico' would be awesome!!
acslaterson writes:
on August 21st, 2009 at 2:10:10 PM

Trejo is 65?! sh*t, it must be the Beaner genes, my Grandpa is in his early 70s and could pass for mid-50s(he is a chronic smoker and alcoholic, which ages most people).
acslaterson writes:
on August 21st, 2009 at 2:13:40 PM

@Ari Gold, ICE stands for U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement.
RickyGabrielBird writes:
on August 21st, 2009 at 3:06:04 PM

Poor Segal raided Kim Jong il's wardrobe and borrowed Dracula's toupee.
DoucheNozzle writes:
on August 21st, 2009 at 3:18:59 PM

Danny Trejo = Mexican Chuck Norris
Ranger writes:
on August 21st, 2009 at 3:33:19 PM

You mean his tears cure cancer too?! SWEET!
DoucheNozzle writes:
on August 21st, 2009 at 3:59:38 PM

Of course they do. His j*zz can melt through solid steel. Females burst into flame if they gaze upon his sausage. The only known person to survive Trejo's c*mshot is Lindsay Lohan, who, as you all know, really messed her up (pun intended).
DoucheNozzle writes:
on August 21st, 2009 at 4:01:30 PM

"which" not "who". Damn typo.
Ranger writes:
on August 21st, 2009 at 4:07:55 PM

Both hands on the keyboard Douche!
Ranger writes:
on August 21st, 2009 at 4:10:54 PM

Steven Seagal stars in:

'FAT and angry! - The Rosie O'Donnell Story!'

Co-starring: Gary Coleman as Rosie's angry crap, and Lindsay Lohan as Rosie's angry tampon!
DoucheNozzle writes:
on August 21st, 2009 at 4:28:43 PM

Ranger, casting Lohan as a tampon would be an insult to tampons everywhere. At least tampons have a purpose. Lohan doesn't deserve to be close to Rosie's festering c*nt. Sorry for the terrible mental image.
Ranger writes:
on August 21st, 2009 at 4:42:13 PM

OK... some of my lunch just back-up on me here...
Dynasty79 writes:
on August 21st, 2009 at 4:43:12 PM

Come on guys, Steven Seagal is how old? almost 60 years old? He is not a fat ass. What do expect from a 6'3'' big guy to look like?
Eben1277 writes:
on August 21st, 2009 at 4:49:15 PM

dolph lungdren is like 6'6" or something and he is jacked, size is no excuse for seagal
Ranger writes:
on August 21st, 2009 at 4:54:01 PM

Sure he has an excuse. He's a lazy c*nt!
Ranger writes:
on August 21st, 2009 at 4:56:40 PM

Having said that. Seagal has done 25 of his 36 movie projects since 2000. So, he's working folks... just bangin' the ladies a lot less I suspect.
Eben1277 writes:
on August 21st, 2009 at 5:00:40 PM

He might be working, but he definitely isn't working out. All I can really say is I'm a bit dissapointed... all this hype about the movie and Seagal doesn't even look photoreal like we were promised!
Eben1277 writes:
on August 21st, 2009 at 5:01:47 PM

But he might look better when we see the finished product in 3D
Dynasty79 writes:
on August 21st, 2009 at 5:09:39 PM

Dolph may be 6'6''and still buff, but Seagal was never known for being buff. You seen Hard To Kill, He was never muscular. I see plenty of 60 year olds look a lot worse.
Dynasty79 writes:
on August 21st, 2009 at 5:13:17 PM

I agree with most, that Seagal has not done a good movie since Under Siege, but I'm hoping that this will be a comeback for him. Us Rodriquez and Tarintino fans know that they like to give actors a second chance in life. Look at John Travolta or David Carridine. I don't think it will happen with Seagal but it will sure look good for him.
Eben1277 writes:
on August 21st, 2009 at 5:14:13 PM

Understood, he was never buff, but he was at least lean. And he's not any 60 y.o., he's supposedly an action star. Like I said, he was able to lose weight for Exit Wounds, which would have made a great comeback movie for him, but he let himself go again. As an action hero, it's literally part of his job to look good, most 60 year olds don't have that job requirement, unless their masters class bodybuilders.
Dynasty79 writes:
on August 21st, 2009 at 5:22:41 PM

You have a point, he does have a job to look good. He may be on the lazy side. Seagal also had a chance to star in Stallone's "Expendables" which also stars Arnold,Willis,Jet Li,Jason Stathom to new a few. But he rejected! I couldn't believe it.
Ranger writes:
on August 21st, 2009 at 5:30:07 PM

I'm surprised they offered Seagal a role in The Expendables! Considering his belly... it would hog all the screen time.

Maybe if Stallone offered him a roll (freshly baked... a whole basket full) - Seagal may have accepted.
DoucheNozzle writes:
on August 21st, 2009 at 6:07:51 PM

The reason Seagal declined the chance to be in The Expendables is that Seagal has had a major feud with the producer. Seagal would have most likely accepted if not for the certain producer being on board.
The5thBeatle5 writes:
on August 21st, 2009 at 6:51:57 PM

Jabla lookin good...as always :D
Ranger writes:
on August 21st, 2009 at 7:51:18 PM

@Douche - I know. But it's more fun to make fun of his belly (from a distance).
Stuntastic writes:
on August 21st, 2009 at 11:16:22 PM

It amazes me to see that no matter how huge Seagal gets he still manages to squeeze into his skinny jeans.
Ryback writes:
on August 22nd, 2009 at 12:32:40 AM

Seagal is awesome, one of the great action heroes!! And he KICKED THE TREJO'S ASS in Marked for the Death. I hope that he will have a big comeback with Machete and his TV serie Lawman! Seagal is the master.
telur writes:
on August 22nd, 2009 at 4:54:44 AM

people see this juat for alba
serious2020 writes:
on August 23rd, 2009 at 3:30:59 PM

Seagal needs to think very seriously about doing something else...dark clothing can no longer cover up the fact that he is overweight and seriously out of shape.

Helping a beautiful woman down from the hood of a car may be all that he can manage at the moment...and that is sad, because Above The Law was a good film.

His movies deteriorated badly (both in plot and from a martial arts standpoint) from that point on.

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