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Hasbro Talks Monopoly, Battleship, Candy Land, Stretch Armstrong

Posted: August 8th, 2009 by WorstPreviews.com Staff
Hasbro Talks Monopoly, Battleship, Candy Land, Stretch ArmstrongSubmit Comment
Collider had the chance to speak to Hasbro CEO Brian Goldner about the upcoming "Stretch Armstrong," "Candy Land," "Monopoly" and "Battleship" movies currently in the works.

"'Stretch Armstrong' will probably be our first movie out," said Goldner. "It's already slated for April 2011. Steve Oderkirk is writing the script. 'Candy Land' is being written by Etan Cohen and Kevin Lima is our director; he did 'Enchanted.' 'Monopoly' is Ridley Scott. 'Battleship,' we're working on a 'Battleship' movie it's really gonna be a lot of fun."

Regarding "Candy Land": "'Candy Land' is not just about the board game. If you really think about it, it's an adventure that a kid goes on with his parents when they go across that board. It's an adventure game so think of that as the beginning point and take off from there."

Regarding "Monopoly": "'Monopoly' has this wonderful history. If you'll remember, 'Monopoly' was literally invented at The [Great] Depression, so that idea, this fiction that's really there, this non-fiction fiction that's really there in the game and in the fact that there’s such great roots to this brand and the history of the brand, we bring this to life with a story about families."

Regarding "Battleship": "Oh, I'm not going to tell you quite yet but I will say that it's everything you could imagine in a 'Battleship' movie. It's really a phenomenal idea."

Regarding "Stretch Armstrong": "Stretching as a superpower brings a lot of humor to the idea. So imagine a big humorous super-powered, super-human kind of movie."

Source: Collider


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Displaying 30 comment(s) Profanity: Turn On
Ranger writes:
on August 8th, 2009 at 4:02:59 AM

Zzzzzzzzz...
Ranger writes:
on August 8th, 2009 at 4:04:38 AM

I'd rather f*ck a chainsaw than watch any of these movies.
Ranger writes:
on August 8th, 2009 at 4:12:39 AM

Regarding "Stretch Armstrong": ahhh... aka: Mr. Fantastic moonlighting from the Fantasti Four, because his movies sucked so bad, and he can stretch... so, like, like, like... he was, like... out first choice!

CandyLand is an 'adventure game'?! Hey Kid... step into my van... I have a bag of candy for you!

Regarding "Monopoly": we bring this to life with a story about families." ... UGH!

"Regarding "Battleship": "Oh, I'm not going to tell you quite yet but I will say that it's everything you could imagine in a 'Battleship' movie (I don't imagine much!). It's really a phenomenal idea." (Kill me now!!!)

Oh... let me guess. It's like the Game Masters in the original Tron... they played whilst virtual beings (and ships) die (and sink)... or something Matrix(ish). Wow... I really went out onto the limb there.

Am I dreaming this?! Someone is trying to make pieces of sh*t drying in the sun sound exciting?!

If anyone goes to see any of these movies, I'll find out where you live and have your pets set on fire!!!
Ranger writes:
on August 8th, 2009 at 4:16:08 AM

Me thinks Hasbro CEO Brian Goldner needs a good swift kick to his c*nt with a nice, pointy frozen Ferragamo!
Ranger writes:
on August 8th, 2009 at 4:18:47 AM

Well... I guess Lohan's twat could play Stretch. And if there is a Monopoly piece that looks like a piece of sh*t... Gary Coleman's phone is ringing.
The Skippy Spartan writes:
on August 8th, 2009 at 4:24:46 AM

Ranger loves his comments with a side of Schitzophrenia...nah jsut messign with ya Ranger, totally agree, some things just shouldn't be films!!
Ranger writes:
on August 8th, 2009 at 4:28:31 AM

Yo Skip... how art thou?

I'd rather eat live, whole lobsters, then kill them by punching myself in the stomach than watch ANY of these movies!

I'd rather watch a 12-hour Deep Space 9 TV Marathon than watch ANY of these movies!

I'd go down on a Lawyer before watching ANY of these movies!

I'd eat broken glass with a kerosene chaser before watching ANY of these movies!

I'd rather watch a Verne Troyer and Gary Coleman tag-team sex tape with Lohan before I'd watch ANY of... ok, I wouldn't... but you're getting my drift!
minkowski writes:
on August 8th, 2009 at 4:54:54 AM

Pong the movie. Instead of a white ball on a black screen, they decided that was racist, so the pong ball is black. Ten f*cking bucks and all you get is a black screen and some sound effects. Ratner is attached to direct.

Pole Position, a clever remake of Driven with Lindsey Lohan as the lead. She plays with somebody's stick for two hours.

MouseTrap, starring Gary Coleman as the mouse. Lindsey Lohan as the 'trap'.
minkowski writes:
on August 8th, 2009 at 4:58:59 AM

Ratner is attached to direct Pong, but movie insiders expect him to f*ck it up.
minkowski writes:
on August 8th, 2009 at 5:04:21 AM

'Oh, I'm not going to tell you quite yet but I will say that it's everything you could imagine in a 'Battleship' movie. It's really a phenomenal idea."

In other words, we have no f*cking clue, we're a toy company trying to desperately cash in on the latest toy-to-film craze. We're pathetic and we know.

More evidence Battleship is the Steven Baldwin of the group:

'Battleship,' we're working on a 'Battleship' movie it's really gonna be a lot of fun."

Eat up Steven, you need your strength.
DoucheNozzle writes:
on August 8th, 2009 at 6:47:51 AM

Mink and Ranger, you guys are so funny/awesome. Regarding Stretch Armstrong, if Oderkirk has written a gleefully retarded script like he did for the hilarious (not for all tastes / any taste) Kung Pow: Enter the Fist, my ass will be in the theatre on opening day.
DoucheNozzle writes:
on August 8th, 2009 at 6:51:39 AM

I know Kung Pow is a terrible movie, but any time it comes on, I find myself laughing at the avant retarde style of filmmaking on display.
Space_Ghost11 writes:
on August 8th, 2009 at 8:40:28 AM

GET MICHAEL BAY TO DIRECT BATTLESHIP!! HAHAHAHA!! HE'D MAKE IT f*ckING AWESOME!!

Monopoly is the only other one outta these that could be decent because an actual story exists. Get Ben Kingsley to play the Monopoly Guy! hahahaha!!

Candy Land, eeehh... I think they should make it kinda creepy kinda like how Alice in Wonderland is gonna be but it'll probably end up like Spy Kids.
SpookyCupcakes writes:
on August 8th, 2009 at 11:33:27 AM

f*ck.


Jesus f*cking buttf*cking f*ck christ.

How the f*ck is monopoly a story about families?

It's about banking, money, and making other people poor which proves that you're the biggest jew.

If it was invented in the great depression, then set it in the f*cking great depression, talk about the economy and sociology and the behaviours of people living in that time, I can smell the oscar already.

But no, it's gonna be a "Family adventure" which consists of what exactly? A family goes around town buying houses and streets and railways and sh*t, until they're THROWN IN f*ckING JAIL?!

Hasbro doesn't have any shame, if they did, they wouldn't whore themselves out with every f*cking product.

I can't wait until "RUBIKS CUBE: THE UNNESECCARY SUBTITLE" and it'll be a "Family Adventure" about some magical hungarian wizard who gives them this cube that if they don't solve, then they are banished to a world where toy companies cash in on their most loved creations only to whore them out and make sh*t movies out of them.

f*ck.

Remember 'Jumanji' and 'Zathura'? Those were good movies, and the movie was about the f*cking board game, not set in it!

But then again, Hasbro is a little too thick to think outside the box, eh?
Ranger writes:
on August 8th, 2009 at 11:52:52 AM

I love Kung Pow with chicken!

@ Space_Ghost... well, all good ideas (seriously)... you have vision my friend. Bay and Battleship would be the only way to go.

But... 'Hey kid! The BEST Candy is in the van!' (my version) - and you're right again... some abstract Alice in Wonderland (Depp) look. But I doubt that would happen... Hasbro has 'standards'... Bwwwwhahahahahahahaaa!!!
doneehoward writes:
on August 8th, 2009 at 3:15:35 PM

When will this bad joke end?
BlueMobius writes:
on August 8th, 2009 at 3:50:12 PM

"that it's everything you could imagine in a 'Battleship' movie"

But...I wasn't imagining anything.

Oh, and that guy actually had me interested in the Monopoly concept with mention of The Great Depression but full on lost me when he said "with families." Ugh.
StrongR3tard writes:
on August 8th, 2009 at 8:10:29 PM

what a f*ckin joke. i wanna cry
Ranger writes:
on August 8th, 2009 at 8:27:22 PM

Next someone will be talking about doing a movie on the Pet Rock!
Ranger writes:
on August 8th, 2009 at 8:41:38 PM

And I don't mean the success of the Pet Rock invention. I mean a movie about a Pet Rock (named... get ready... Rocky! Ow, Yo, Eh!) and his travels across N. America or some sh*t like that.
BlutoDaBoss21 writes:
on August 8th, 2009 at 9:22:02 PM

lol Pole Position! wasnt that an 80's tv show as-well? hahahahha nah but seriously a great doc*mentry about vid games is The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters. and Stretch Armstrong? Wheres my Lego movie! a action packed love comedy all made in Lego! sure it would take thousands of man hours, but it would be a hell of alot better then any f*ckin Monopoly movie. sounds like a spoof trailer off EbaumsWorld. Hollywoods goin to hell in a handbasket, and not lookin back
synthetic1985 writes:
on August 9th, 2009 at 3:20:56 AM

cool down guys...not EVERYONE in hollywood is bad...it's just that there's too many bad people in hollywood giving the better people bad reputation....screw those f*ckheads
synthetic1985 writes:
on August 9th, 2009 at 3:22:27 AM

i'm just glad these movies at least have better story behind it than asteroids lol...i dunno why my mind is on that still...but come on?...assterdroids?...sh*t i'd rather watch that
Ranger writes:
on August 9th, 2009 at 3:56:13 AM

Next: MOOD RINGS - the movie!
synthetic1985 writes:
on August 9th, 2009 at 4:02:05 AM

how about sonic??...anyone?...i'm down for that...just as long as they don't f*ck it up....funny how we have to say 'as long as they don't f*ck it up' when something testy gets made
BlutoDaBoss21 writes:
on August 9th, 2009 at 8:15:24 AM

they made a cool Anime Sonic movie back in the 90's. has Metal Sonic in it. i actually really enjoyed it. thats what they gotta do for Zelda. either CG or Anime. never NEVER live action omg....that would be so bunk
synthetic1985 writes:
on August 9th, 2009 at 3:48:24 PM

i still want to do a live-action zelda....but 80s style...like neverending story puppets or something...hardly any cgi...make it more fun than SERIOUS fun....i think that's why if hollywood was to make a zelda movie today, they'd piss off the original fans so much it would cause chaos everywhere...my idea of zelda as a movie is taking the pictures of the drawings of the characters in the guide book for the first game...and somehow making puppet sized things of em....or cgi for a couple, but more puppets used instead...and save the better for last...imagine seeing ganon in a huge puppet thing and link has to battle it?...i'd rather pay to watch that vs a cgi version of ganon...i think it would please everyone that loved the 80s...and after all, the game did get made in the 80s...might as well give it the 80s filming techniques right?
Tyrkae writes:
on August 10th, 2009 at 1:19:41 PM

more crap movies that might get made
My little pony
Mario bros 2
Guess Who
Rubix Cube
Glow worm
Simon
Cabbage Patch kids
And last but not least Light Bright

i feel my childhood getting raped can this madness stop at least make these movies stright to dvd
synthetic1985 writes:
on August 10th, 2009 at 8:59:15 PM

mario bros 2 could possibly be better...i mean, i look at the first movie as a prequel in my eyes...making a 2nd would actually be the start off of where the 1st 'super mario bros' game starts...let luigi and mario get star/flower power lol...so they can shoot either fireballs or cocaine balls heh...and koopa could change his name to 'bowser' and actually look he does in N64
Ranger writes:
on August 11th, 2009 at 1:38:35 AM

Cabbage Patch Kids meet... CHUCKY!

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