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Robert Rodriguez's "Machete" Cast Revealed

Posted: August 5th, 2009 by WorstPreviews.com Staff
Robert RodriguezSubmit Comment
Robert Rodriguez has previously revealed that Danny Trejo and Michelle Rodriguez have officially been cast in his Machete film, based on the faux trailer from "Grindhouse."

Now, Variety has revealed the entire cast, which includes Trejo, Rodriguez, Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Steven Seagal, Lindsay Lohan, Cheech Marin, Don Johnson and Jeff Fahey. Apparently, Jonah Hill didn't accept the offer.

Rodriguez has began filming "Machete" this week alongside his co-director/protege Ethan Maniquis. The new movie is expected to have a budget between $15 and $30 million.

Source: Variety


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Displaying 51 comment(s) Profanity: Turn On
coldplayesence writes:
on August 5th, 2009 at 6:06:03 PM

Yesss finally Jeff Fahey is confirmed!!!
c-prime writes:
on August 5th, 2009 at 6:11:30 PM

How appropriate that Lohan should star in a movie titled after my second pick for weapons I would love to torture her with. The first would be all the sh*tty movies she's ever made.
Ranger writes:
on August 5th, 2009 at 6:22:24 PM

See Lohan's pic on e entertainment today... she's wearing a bracelet to cover the cut mark on her wrists (along with a burn mark). She may not live long enough for this movie to get filmed... lol.
IRONDAN writes:
on August 5th, 2009 at 6:22:54 PM

HOLD ON... Don Johnson, Seagal, Lohan and Robert De Niro in the same film. I bet they never thought they would all work together. this movie is going to make for one hell of a night at the movies!!!

I am totally in
burman writes:
on August 5th, 2009 at 6:23:53 PM

Awesome cast indeed. Legends- Trejo, De Niro, Marin and Fahey. Cheesy legends- Johnson and Seagal. Totty- Alba and Rodriguez. And lets just hope Lohan gets butchered in the first scene!
Ranger writes:
on August 5th, 2009 at 6:25:15 PM

$15 to $20 mil. budget? Well, clearly DeNiro is taking back-end pay from the ticket sales... that poor, dumb bastard.
burman writes:
on August 5th, 2009 at 6:40:22 PM

@ranger. He's loaded, maybe he just wants to do something that's fun for a change. maybe he will be Machete's mentor.... A Machete weilding, wise, battle hardened war veteran De Niro would be very coool...
SpookyCupcakes writes:
on August 5th, 2009 at 6:42:57 PM

"Jessica Alba, Steven Seagal, Lindsay Lohan"

"Jonah Hill didn't accept the offer."

Smart move, Jonah.
Ranger writes:
on August 5th, 2009 at 6:50:47 PM

@burman - Yep. Clearly, the man likes to work (unlike Lohan). I'm a huge DeNiro fan (and Seagal... if the truth be known... mostly for his fighting ability and his ability to self-produce). This project may surprise us all (I hope it does).
SpookyCupcakes writes:
on August 5th, 2009 at 6:52:26 PM

me too, Ranger.

The only cast members i'm excited to hear about it DeNiro and Marin.
DoucheNozzle writes:
on August 5th, 2009 at 6:57:41 PM

Alba?!!!? Where the f*ck did that come from? Never heard her even in negotiations to play a role. Well, at least there will be a hot chick for our eyes to linger upon while Lohan drags her saggy c*nt across the floor. Love that Seagal is finally confirmed. Seagal should be so f*cking awesome in this along with Trejo. Count me as also excited that he is keeping Fahey for the flick! I am so looking forward to this! "He f*cked with the wrong Mexican!" Very cool news all around.
SpookyCupcakes writes:
on August 5th, 2009 at 7:01:01 PM

Dude, Alba is one of the worst, most godawful actress' in Hollywood. Everything she's in is a pile of sh*t. I think there was that one movie that wasn't too bad, but the rest of them are all f*cking terrible.

And Seagal is a joke, I hope he dies early in the movie.
lostwarrior writes:
on August 5th, 2009 at 7:01:23 PM

f*ck yeah fahey is in it.. this movie is actually coming together very well. Most likely it will f*cking be bad ass. Hell he even got don johnson in it.. and just wondering is it gonna be Lohan and Alba having a sex scene together?? like in the faux trailer...
Ranger writes:
on August 5th, 2009 at 7:04:42 PM

But Alba has that big, no-spill bottom lip I always find use-fill.
manichispanic writes:
on August 5th, 2009 at 7:05:40 PM

i never thought this movie would ever get made. i still don't believe it
DoucheNozzle writes:
on August 5th, 2009 at 7:12:45 PM

Alba?!!!? Where the f*ck did that come from? Never heard her even in negotiations to play a role. Well, at least there will be a hot chick for our eyes to linger upon while Lohan drags her saggy c*nt across the floor. Love that Seagal is finally confirmed. Seagal should be so f*cking awesome in this along with Trejo. Count me as also excited that he is keeping Fahey for the flick! I am so looking forward to this! "He f*cked with the wrong Mexican!" Very cool news all around.
DoucheNozzle writes:
on August 5th, 2009 at 7:14:10 PM

f*ck!!! Sorry, guys. Double post.
DoucheNozzle writes:
on August 5th, 2009 at 7:23:41 PM

SpookyCupcakes, where the f*ck in my post did I say Alba is a good actress? I would f*cking stab my eyes out before I said that! I was just confused that she was cast because none of the prior reports about the film even mentioned she was being considered for a part. I even said that the only thing she would be good for was being eye-candy. P.S. Greasy pony-tails are badass. Hehehehe...
doneehoward writes:
on August 5th, 2009 at 8:12:58 PM

wow.. Don Johnson.
acslaterson writes:
on August 5th, 2009 at 8:18:42 PM

I can't wait for the trailer to hit and watch Lou Dobb's head explode!!!
ian_918 writes:
on August 5th, 2009 at 8:19:56 PM

jonah hill wouldnt have fit in very well with this movie anyways..
FBO writes:
on August 5th, 2009 at 8:27:02 PM

I don't care how bad Alba's acting is. I just wanna see her ass move
FBO writes:
on August 5th, 2009 at 8:28:02 PM

Jonah barely fits in a door
RoadDogXVIII writes:
on August 5th, 2009 at 9:08:01 PM

Lindsay Lohan?
Ranger writes:
on August 5th, 2009 at 9:21:57 PM

I know. I thought she was too busy doing nothing too.
minkowski writes:
on August 5th, 2009 at 10:13:38 PM

Interventions, probation and herpes treatment are time consuming activities. Give Lohan a break, Ranger!

Preferably between the second and third vertebra.
minkowski writes:
on August 5th, 2009 at 10:20:51 PM

I hear Jonah turned down the offer after he was told, that due to a rather limited film budget, he'd have to bring his own meals and snacks.
vwkombi writes:
on August 5th, 2009 at 10:36:42 PM

Haha, Steven Seagal. God he made some sweet movies back in the day, now his a jokes. His a punching bag for Trejo.

With the exception of Lohan and Alba, it's one hell of a cast. And i thank the Gods that Jonah Hill wasn't in this film, he would never have fit in.
Ranger writes:
on August 5th, 2009 at 10:41:00 PM

"Preferably between the second and third vertebra." - priceless!
minkowski writes:
on August 5th, 2009 at 10:46:12 PM

Yeah, if Lohan lost the use of her body below the neck, what would she do to wile away the hours? Give blowjobs to strangers? What would be the difference?

Blah. 'I know Who Killed Me'. I know who killed HER. Raging clamydia, that's f*cking who.
murphyslaw93 writes:
on August 5th, 2009 at 11:08:23 PM

I wouldnt even have to have seen grindhouse, the trailer, or even the name of the movie. If someone told me there was movie coming out with all of these people starring in it together, i would go immediately. Rodriguez really knows how to make the best out of the worst, like this cast of characters would never have worked in any other directors hand, Rodriguez is the only director creative enough to find all these actors and put them into excellent roles in a movie experience that is going to be insane. Wish Hill had accepted his role though.
DoucheNozzle writes:
on August 5th, 2009 at 11:23:23 PM

Still angry at SpookyCupcakes. Him accusing me of saying Alba was anything more than eye-candy tarnishes my good name... DoucheNozzle... A name that stands for dignity and class... Hehehe... But I am pissed SpookyC misinterpreted what I said. Oh well, I can take solace in the mental image of Lohan's spine being snapped. Thank, Minkowski, you know how to cheer me up. ;)
Rich k writes:
on August 5th, 2009 at 11:27:51 PM

i think jessica alba should play a kinda role like she did in sin city.
DoucheNozzle writes:
on August 5th, 2009 at 11:27:56 PM

It is supposed to be "Thanks, Minkowski" God damn my LG Dare!
minkowski writes:
on August 5th, 2009 at 11:32:35 PM

Welcome DoucheNozzle. BTW, are we brothers? Sometimes people call me 'douchebag', so I thought perhaps we're related somehow. No? ok, nevermind.
synthetic1985 writes:
on August 5th, 2009 at 11:36:47 PM

so are you guys saying jonah hill turned down the role and lindsay lohan is filling in for it?...right on lol
lost_addict writes:
on August 5th, 2009 at 11:41:42 PM

will this be a 'direct to dvd'?
minkowski writes:
on August 5th, 2009 at 11:42:11 PM

Don't be silly! Lohan replace Jonah? How can a skinny no talent diseased man replace a fat no talent diseased man? Everyone would notice!
minkowski writes:
on August 5th, 2009 at 11:50:53 PM

If you replace the L in Lohan with a J, you can make JONAH. LOHAN-L+J=JONAH.

Coincidence? I think not!
lost_addict writes:
on August 6th, 2009 at 12:17:44 AM

you don't mess with the Lohan
johndillinger writes:
on August 6th, 2009 at 12:52:23 AM

raging chlamydia lol...
johndillinger writes:
on August 6th, 2009 at 12:54:21 AM

and plus we all know lohan will f*ck her life up somehow before her scenes need to be filmed and her character will get dropped from the movie completely.
Ranger writes:
on August 6th, 2009 at 1:06:26 AM

Yeah...'Raging chlamydia' had me in stitches!
Trasherke writes:
on August 6th, 2009 at 1:18:05 AM

Maybe Lohan will Trejo's sidekick. We know she can cut ... unless she forgot during rehab!
telur writes:
on August 6th, 2009 at 1:32:43 AM

WP news say.....
Now, Variety has revealed that entire cast, which includes Trejo, Rodriguez, Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Steven Seagal, Lindsay Lohan, Cheech Marin, Don Johnson and Jeff Fahey. Apparently, Jonah Hill didn't accept the offer.

didn't?
or they did?
padfootbob writes:
on August 6th, 2009 at 5:19:25 AM

Wow, so I guess Jonah Hill really cares about the movies he chooses. He turned down this and Transformers.
PrevalentMind writes:
on August 6th, 2009 at 8:50:50 AM

Man...Jonah Hill is nuts. Or the role was too small. If it wasn't though, he would have ended up coming out of that shoot with so many ego trip stories. Seagal, Lohan, DeNiro- can you imagine how hard a scene with all three of these people would be? Gawd that'd be friggin hilarious to watch that unfold on the first day.
PrevalentMind writes:
on August 6th, 2009 at 8:57:21 AM

Seagal's reading Variety this morning for the first time in 15 years and he's saying:

"Who the f*ck is Jessica Alba and why is her name listed before mine?"
ACTIONFIGURE writes:
on August 6th, 2009 at 10:19:14 AM

Respect the Fahey and tame the Lohan!!
The-BRAD writes:
on August 6th, 2009 at 11:04:44 AM

@ telur -They all did accept. Jonah Hill did not.
scarface85 writes:
on August 6th, 2009 at 5:17:02 PM

this looks like its going to be a good movie

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