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Cardiologist's Funny Review of "Crank 2"

Posted: April 23rd, 2009 by WorstPreviews.com Staff
CardiologistSubmit Comment
In the sequel to "Crank," Chev Chelios (Jason Statham) is a hitman whose heart is stolen by gangsters and replaced with an artificial model. In order to stay alive, he has to keep recharging its battery with electricity.

Now, The Guardian contacted Dr. Simon Grant, a cardiologist at Calderdale Royal Hospital, to find out if anything in the movie is plausible. Everyone already knows the answer, but here are some funny quotes:

"Chelios's artificial heart is called an 'Aviocor.' There is a real artificial heart called the Abiocor that works on much the same principle. You walk around with a battery, and power is transferred to the machine through your skin. However, I sincerely doubt you would be able to power it by electrocuting yourself with tasers, car batteries and power lines, as Chelios does. You would be more likely to fry the electrics."

"Frankly, I wouldn't rate Chev's chances in the real world very highly. Artificial hearts are pretty poor, primitive devices. They supply enough cardiac output to keep you slowly plodding around, but they certainly don't allow for martial arts and sprinting. Overcharging them won't give you super-speed, either."

Click here to read our "Crank 2: High Voltage."

Source: The Guardian


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Displaying 20 comment(s) Profanity: Turn On
masKritic writes:
on April 23rd, 2009 at 4:08:38 PM

well no sh*t
tomnottommy writes:
on April 23rd, 2009 at 4:21:06 PM

i think that all chuck norris chucks should be changed to jason statham jokes...jason statham can sneeze with his eyes open.
tomnottommy writes:
on April 23rd, 2009 at 4:21:32 PM

chuck norris jokes... not chuck norris chucks. sh*t.
Ranger writes:
on April 23rd, 2009 at 4:38:08 PM

I've been typing the same way today.
Pembrokehawk writes:
on April 23rd, 2009 at 4:39:40 PM

WOW DOCTOR, glad medical school taught you the difference between fiction and non-fiction.
Ranger writes:
on April 23rd, 2009 at 4:42:41 PM

I trust Jason was THRILLED to be caled into The Expendables... just to get away from this kind of sh*t (and stuff like Transporter 2 jumping the BMW into a roll using a crane's claw to remove a bomb from the underside...ugh!).
BREALZ writes:
on April 23rd, 2009 at 4:44:05 PM

Thanks Dr. well damn...take me off the waiting list for an artificial heart, i thought it made you super fit and dangerous, don't believe everything you see on TV kids!! Except transformers and Megan Fox's tits, they totally exist, i've seen them
Ranger writes:
on April 23rd, 2009 at 4:45:18 PM

I've had them.
GrandpasWeiner writes:
on April 23rd, 2009 at 4:57:20 PM

that wasn't a "Funny Review" by a cardiologist at all
Dre-EL writes:
on April 23rd, 2009 at 6:17:39 PM

Well DUHH. Besides who cares the movie was still fun
Gunslinger writes:
on April 23rd, 2009 at 7:50:00 PM

Sure you've had them, Ranger. Had them implanted, maybe, so that you could finally see what breasts feel like without having to cop a cheap feel on a crowded bus.
Gunslinger writes:
on April 23rd, 2009 at 7:54:53 PM

And isn't Megan Fox a little old for your tastes, Range?
GrandpasWeiner writes:
on April 23rd, 2009 at 8:58:57 PM

"I've had them" hahahahaha
whoever writes:
on April 23rd, 2009 at 9:07:08 PM

Look Ranger, you can't put a black wig on your mum and call her Megan Fox, it's just not the same!
Gunslinger writes:
on April 23rd, 2009 at 9:19:37 PM

...or your dad.
Spanza2 writes:
on April 23rd, 2009 at 10:50:21 PM

NOT AT ALL FUNNY....wtf wp
vwkombi writes:
on April 24th, 2009 at 5:08:44 AM

I guess that's one less thing i need to do to try and get superpowers. I am so thankful i found that out. Now i am going to get roll around in some toxic waste.
dwightschrute writes:
on April 24th, 2009 at 9:24:57 AM

LOL and I can land an airplane cos I have a hi-score in Flight Sim. f*cking hilarious.
ACTIONFIGURE writes:
on April 24th, 2009 at 12:53:38 PM

Jason Statham can divide by zero.
ACTIONFIGURE writes:
on April 24th, 2009 at 2:46:23 PM

Next they should give Chev gills and call it"Crank: Rough Seas." LOL

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